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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30139902">Where a Bird Should Choose to Roost</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HurricanesWriting/pseuds/HurricanesWriting'>HurricanesWriting</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hades (Video Game 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Communication, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, I get to use those tags, I spent too long slaving over the characterization, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Relationship Study, Stranger (affectionate), come get yo pza, post Patrochilles reunion, yeah I guess I can say that and also</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:42:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>34,211</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30139902</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HurricanesWriting/pseuds/HurricanesWriting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em> “He’s a lot like a bird, I feel.” That makes Achilles cock his head, curiosity roused. “He’s full of energy that refuses to be pinned down,” Patroclus begins in answer to the question Achilles didn’t ask. “Never sitting still, always ready to take flight again at a moment’s notice, wherever he might want to go. They’re both joyful and confident in the way they move through life.” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> It’s an astute observation. Patroclus knows Zagreus better than Achilles gives him credit for; he never would have thought to draw such a comparison. </em>
</p>
<p><em> “I don’t think Zagreus knows what birds </em> are,” <em> Achilles comments idly, since he can’t think of anything more intelligent to say. </em></p>
<p>-</p>
<p>As it so happens, relationships work much the same way below the earth as they did upon its surface; they rely upon giving and accepting. Patroclus needs to remember how to give. Achilles needs to remember how to accept. And Zagreus needs to slow down enough to manage either.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Achilles/Patroclus (Hades Video Game), Achilles/Patroclus/Zagreus (Hades Video Game), Achilles/Zagreus (Hades Video Game), Patroclus/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>99</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>217</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Sentimental Type</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic can absolutely be read on its own, but it actually takes place after my two previous Hades fics, if you'd like to read them!<br/><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28623771">open your mind (to the possibility (nay, the fact))</a> is about Pat and Zag learning more about each other, and I reference it a few times here. Spoilers for the pre credits story.<br/><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29147787">To Sleep in Peace</a> is about Achilles and Hypnos. The plot is entirely unrelated to this, but it's an early, precanon event in this thread of Achilles' character development.<br/>You can also find me on Twitter <a href="https://twitter.com/hurricanes_art">@hurricanes_art!</a> (Psst I post my Hades art there :D)</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Achilles and Patroclus’s reunion isn’t all comfortable bliss, but it is progress, which, in many ways, is infinitely more valuable.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!!! This is the first multi chapter fic I'm posting!  From the get go, I was really tempted to hear people's thoughts as the story progresses, but making multi chapter fics makes me super nervous for some reason and posting them as I go doesn't work all that well with the way I write. So I decided to split the difference and make this multiple chapters but to only start posting it when it was fully finished (which turned out to be a good choice because it took me FOREVER to find the time). So this fic is fully written! I'll be adding a new chapter everyday, so keep an eye out! The rating will not change.</p><p>Hopefully this is still satisfying to read through, I've never tried this before...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Well, no need to get emotional, is there? We myrmidons, we’re not the sentimental type,” Patroclus tells his prince, and that’s a rather bold faced lie, Achilles thinks.</p><p>They weren't raised or trained to be sentimental, but the two of them are anyway, or Achilles is, at least. And given that he wasn’t the only one with tears on his face when they finally held each other again upon his arrival at the glade at last, he doesn’t think Patroclus has the right to tell Zagreus not to get emotional.</p><p>Regardless, said prince of the Underworld doesn’t seem to mind as he chooses the boon he wants from Pat (some sort of jerky) and is hurriedly shooed away by his beloved. He might normally be irritated at him for being so dismissive with the lad he cares for so immensely, but given that this is the first time they’ve reunited since death and that Achilles himself is eager to have his beloved to himself again, he doesn’t complain.</p><p>However, to his surprise, Patroclus doesn’t return his attention to him after Zagreus leaves. Instead, eyes fixed on the door he just went through, he says, “I get it now. I understand.”</p><p>Achilles leans around his lover’s form to follow his gaze to the door, but sees nothing enlightening. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“I understand that look on his face, now. That longing and grief. I’ve been wondering at its cause for quite some time now. In retrospect, he started wearing it when he discovered the connection between the two of us.”</p><p>Patroclus speaks with the steady, even confidence of his that Achilles is never inclined to disagree with, but... “Between us?” he parrots. He isn’t really following. Had Zagreus been wearing a look? Achilles hadn’t noticed one.</p><p>“You’ve had him then?” Patroclus asks easily. “As a lover?”</p><p>Achilles feels like he just hit him between the eyes.</p><p>When his Patroclus turns back to him, his face must be quite the sight because he lets out a decidedly inelegant snort and a short but raucous laughing fit.</p><p>“You look like you’ve just been stabbed between the ribs!” he wheezes. “For gods’ sake, Achilles, I don’t mean to make <em> that </em> big a deal of it.”</p><p>Achilles blinks rapidly, mind scrambling to catch up with Patroclus’s question, which, he decides, might as well have been a stab.</p><p>“Patroclus,” he gasps, pained and desperate. “My love. I <em> didn’t- Gods.” </em> The word falls from his tongue like a curse.</p><p>The amusement leaves Patroclus then, falling from his face. He closes the distance between them, setting his hands on the back of his neck and nudging him to rest his head on his shoulder. “Oh, my beloved, I didn’t mean it like <em> that. </em> I wasn’t making an <em> accusation, </em> I just... wanted to know.”</p><p>Achilles refuses to lie to him. He can’t. He <em> won’t. </em> Even when it pains him to say, “I- no, not as a lover, I <em> wouldn’t, </em> I... There <em> was </em> a time that Zagreus approached me, <em> kissed </em> me, and I didn’t stop him as I should have. It was a moment of weakness and I admit that I returned his embrace before I remembered myself.” He fights to keep his voice from wavering. “I regret it and I have no excuse for you, only a plea for your forgiveness.”</p><p>Achilles doesn’t know what he expects to see on Patroclus’s face when he lifts his head again, but he’s prepared for many things, for anger, disappointment, rejection. Instead, Pat looks nothing but bewildered.</p><p>“But- why?” A strangled sound erupts from Achilles at that, but before he can try to explain that fleeting encounter with Prince Zagreus, Patroclus cuts him off with a distracted hand wave. “No, no, not ‘why’ like that. I meant- why push him away at all? We were never exclusive with each other in life; did you just assume I would condemn you if you gained affections for someone else in death? I can’t fathom why you’d think I would. I <em> don’t.” </em></p><p>It feels different considering that now, now that Patroclus is right here in front of him after so long. In life, they spent countless long hours musing over the nature of their love. Time after time, they pondered over what it felt like to love someone else as well, as both of them had done on occasion. It was through lengthy, yet fond conversations that the pair of them settled into a better understanding of their relationship and the fact that differing affections could never diminish or detract from the love they shared.</p><p>Achilles never forgot, and it’s harder now to understand why he thought to himself over and over that a relationship with Zagreus would be a betrayal of Patroclus.</p><p>“Ah, do you just not love him in that way?”</p><p>It’s a practical question, made all the more cutting in its simplicity. That would be the reasonable explanation, wouldn’t it, for the way he turned Zagreus down?</p><p>It’s a question Achilles desperately doesn’t want to answer.</p><p>He shakes his head, feeling so powerless it hurts. “I do love him,” he whispers. “Damn me, I love him so much. I returned his feelings then, too, but it felt wrong to pursue something with him when you were still so far out of reach. It felt wrong to have a relationship after the one we had was severed.”</p><p>Patroclus narrows his eyes, gaze focused and searching. “But what’s the point of that? Rejecting any relationship didn’t change your feelings; you love too ferociously for that. You still love him. He has a place in your heart. And I’m telling the truth, Achilles, when I say that I don’t feel slighted by it nor do I think you’ve cast aside your love for me because of it.”</p><p>He tilts his head. “What drives you towards such unnecessary pain, my love?” There is a demanding intensity underlying his words and he knows Patroclus <em> wants </em> an answer to the question he asked.</p><p>Achilles doesn’t have one.</p><p>The gaze his lover fixes him with is <em> sharp. </em> It’s scrutinizing and <em> invasive </em> and makes Achilles feel like he’s being flayed open and studied, all his secrets being divined. Patroclus has always been good at that, with anyone, and with Achilles above all.</p><p>Achilles wishes he had Patroclus’s, or even Zagreus’s ability to understand people. They can both read him like a book.</p><p>He feels the phantom sensation of his heart tightening when Patroclus finally sighs, like whatever he was searching for, whatever he found, disappointed him.</p><p>“No,” he states. “It wasn’t from some skewed sense of honor. It’s because you’re selfish. You decided you’d rather wallow in your misery than accept the love of someone you loved in turn.”</p><p>Patroclus’s words cinch around his throat. His gaze feels like a blade running him through. He turns away because he has to, because Patroclus is right, because, not only is he <em> selfish, </em> he is <em> weak. </em></p><p>Fear is for the weak and by the gods, <em> he’s so afraid. </em></p><p>The silence hangs.</p><p>“I hurt him,” Achilles confesses lowly. “I knew that from the moment I pulled away from him. I was a coward, too afraid to accept the love he offered and too afraid to give his feelings the closure they deserved when I spurned him.”</p><p>Patroclus jolts. “You didn’t explain things to him?”</p><p>“Not in any way that mattered.” His voice is ragged now. He remembers giving the lad half hearted mumbles about a lover he didn’t want to betray before fleeing his presence back then. How could he have given an explanation of how he truly felt, when that realization has only just now been forced upon him? But even then...</p><p>“I didn’t tell him what feelings I had for him, too caught up in my own despair to tell him the truth and too afraid to lie that I didn’t love him. Even as I rejected him, I longed for him too much to bring myself to burn that bridge. I left him not knowing, and it <em>hurt</em> him not knowing what he should do with the love he had for me.”</p><p>“You don’t think...” Patroclus attempts hesitantly, “that he might have assumed you didn’t return his interest?”</p><p>Achilles shakes his head heavily. “I turned him away a second time, more recently, over a bottle of nectar...” Nectar so generously and tenderly given, Achilles remembers the light in his eyes, a gesture far more tentative than that first kiss but rebuffed with the same misleading, fear laden half truths, that same pitiful recoil from his affection.</p><p>Patroclus releases a heavy breath, laced with that disappointment, not aimed at Achilles but sharp edged and cutting nonetheless.</p><p>Achilles stares down at his palms with a sort of numbness. “You’re right,” he tells Patroclus. “You always are about me. I clung to my misery because... I felt like I deserved it. The horrific things I did in life have haunted my every step. Something in me begged for any kind of penance and I latched onto <em> that, </em> even though it gave no justice to all the people I hurt. And then, when misery was all I had, I felt like I needed it to drown out all the guilt in me."</p><p><em> “Gods,” </em> Achilles whispers once more, a lamentation now.</p><p>Patroclus sets his hands on his shoulders and guides him to the ground with gentle pressure, lowering himself beside him. “Achilles, please don’t tear yourself up because of this. That’s not what I wanted from this. I think I-” He turns away, brows pinched deeply, posture pulled into something distinctly uncomfortable now.</p><p>Achilles wants to tear into himself for being such a wretched fool, for bringing his tangled mess of issues to his lover, ruining the peace he is owed. He truly <em> is </em> selfish to burden him like this. Patroclus is glaring at the ground, gaze shadowed by his lowered head. Achilles leans forward to grasp his hands, filled with tension, to clasp them between his own trembling fingers.</p><p>“Beloved, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t be making all of my issues your own; they aren’t. My countless mistakes are my responsibility alone and I’m so sorry for distressing you with them. Ignore them, ignore them, I’m sorry-”</p><p>Patroclus releases an agitated noise and jostles Achilles’ hands where they join with his own. “No, I’m not- That’s not why...” He doesn’t finish, only looking away again, unwilling to meet Achilles’ eye.</p><p>“No, this is my fault,” Achilles tries again, voice rough. “You already have so much weight on your shoulders and so much of it was already put there by me. I have no excuse for hurting you further. I-”</p><p>“Enough!” Patroclus cuts in. “That’s not it! Must you keep finding ways to feel miserable even now that we’re together again?” Achilles tenses, stung by the truth in those words. As soon as they leave his mouth, however, long before Achilles can fumble for an apology that doesn’t just repeat the same mistake, Patroclus cringes back, face screwing up in frustration, and drags a hand through his hair.</p><p>“Fuck-” he hisses. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry I... shouldn’t have.”</p><p>Achilles looks him over, confused and sick at heart. “You don’t have to apologize. You’re right. Again. I was- doing the same damn thing. I don’t...” Achilles grasps for the right thing to say and comes up empty. “You’re right to berate me for it,” he finishes lamely.</p><p>“No. I’m not. You’re not at fault, or- Maybe in part, but not in any way that makes a response like that helpful. You fell victim to such a problem for a logical reason and I... understand why. I have no place to criticize you for it.” His fingers tangle together, tense against each other in a nervous gesture.</p><p>“You aren’t alone, you know?” Patroclus tells him after a few beats of hesitation. “I fear I fell into the same trap.”</p><p>He lets out a gusty sigh and Achilles risks taking one of his hands again and rubs a thumb over his knuckles. He doesn’t pull back “I have said that Elysium has never been paradise for me, but... I certainly never gave it the chance to be. I never wandered around for what the realm has to offer. I never talked to any shades to see whose company I might enjoy. All this time, I was content to waste away in my <em> own </em> misery, not willing to put the effort into seeking something better.”</p><p>It cuts Achilles to the quick. It had burned in his lungs when Zagreus told him how desolate Patroclus had grown and how Elysium seemed to give him no happiness. It aches even worse now to hear it from his beloved.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he rasps. “I’d hoped that ensuring you could stay in Elysium would ensure you peace in the afterlife after I failed so horribly to give you that in life. I’m so sorry I only-”</p><p>“No-” Patroclus cuts in harshly. “No, that’s the whole point- you shouldn’t apologize. It was <em> my </em> choice to linger in my despondence and throw away any chance I had for anything else. I can’t excuse my actions- or <em> inaction- </em> as anything else anymore, not in the face of everything you and Zagreus have accomplished. It’s hard to face the fact, now... the fact that I’ve just languished while so much has been done on my behalf.” His expression twists in frustration and grief.</p><p>“I...” He looks at Achilles then, gaze intense even as his voice wavers. “I am sorry, Achilles, for squandering the gift you paid such a high price to give me.”</p><p>“I don’t...” Achilles starts, only to trail off. He wants to tell his Patroclus that he’s done nothing wrong, that there is nothing to apologize for, that his pain is Achilles’ burden to bear alone. But he realizes it’s not true. It <em> hurt </em> him to consider that all his efforts to give Patroclus happiness amounted to so little. And there is a truth to the idea that Patroclus had a hand in that, never attempting to find what might make him happy.</p><p>He’s right. It’s a hard thing to face.</p><p>But necessary. For them both.</p><p>Achilles sits silent for a time, coming to terms with this reality and what it makes him feel.</p><p>When he feels settled, or at least, that he understands a bit better, Achilles releases a slow breath. He cups Patroclus’s face between his palms, leans in and presses a kiss between his furrowed brows. “I forgive you,” he murmurs, and rests their foreheads together.</p><p>They stay like that for uncounted moments until Patroclus shifts to rest his head in the crook of Achilles’ neck.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>For a long time, the whisper of the Lethe is all there is.</p><p>At length, after his thoughts have returned to the rest of their conversation, Achilles says, “I’m not sure Zagreus would be willing to forgive me. I’m not sure I deserve it.”</p><p>Patroclus pulls him in and rubs the back of his neck soothingly. “Oh, my Achilles,” he murmurs, “don’t let it pain you too much right now. I’ve had the thought that, for us mortals, the afterlife just gives us infinite time to make infinite mistakes, but, by that same logic, I suppose we have infinite time to fix them.”</p><p>Achilles can’t help but smile. His lover <em> would </em> see things like that.</p><p>“Even the circumstances that separated us, which seemed more hopeless than anything, are fixed now. I <em> finally </em> have you in my arms again...” The reality of it seems to distract Patroclus for a few moments before he can continue. “Don’t give up hope that the rift between you and Zagreus can end up repaired the same way.”</p><p>“Well, Zagreus was the one that fixed the problems keeping us apart,” Achilles points out mildly.</p><p>“Maybe he’ll do the same here!” Patroclus quips teasingly. “Maybe he’ll run up and kiss you again and give you another chance to not be an idiot this time.”</p><p>Achilles smiles and breathes a laugh. It won’t be that simple, both of them know that, but it’s what he needs to hear. Patroclus has a way of bleeding the tension from him when he knows he needs it, giving him a safe way down from whatever has him so tied up in his mind.</p><p>“I will think on it,” Achilles promises him, “about the best way to move forward.”</p><p>“Good,” Patroclus mumbles against his skin. He shifts against him, pressing his weight against Achilles. He recognizes the prompt and answers it readily. He leans back to lay on his back, Patroclus going with him, head pressed against his chest now.</p><p>Achilles wraps his arms around his shoulders and hums his thanks, drained by all the emotion that has consumed his day or night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>“Well, no need to get emotional, is there? We myrmidons, we’re not the sentimental type.” is canon dialogue from Patroclus when you find him with Achilles for the first time.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Allow Me to Try and Tempt You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Zagreus’s affection has always tugged at Achilles, away from his self imposed penance. Achilles finally tries to step forward himself, to follow the pull and to extend a hand of his own.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For as poorly as Achilles has handled many of the things between him and Zagreus and for all his struggles understanding his own feelings for the young god, he knows him <em> very </em> well in many ways. Time is strange here in the Underworld, yet he knows he’s dedicated so much of it to Zagreus. A great deal was because of the condition in his contract that he would train the son of Hades, but it was in no small part because Achilles longs for his company and he finds himself filing away everything he notices about Zagreus with great care when they are together.</p><p>Zagreus is familiar to Achilles now in a way very few things are. The tug of a spear shaft on the skin of his palms as he feints towards his enemy’s abdomen. The way sunlight filters through the fabric of the tent he stayed in during the war that consumed so much of his mortal life. The scratch of Patroclus’s beard on his skin and it’s stark contrast to the sensuous press of his lips. The way Zagreus’s eyes squint, the green one more than the red, from his lopsided smile when he talks about whatever has found the focus of his boundless passion.</p><p>These are things Achilles has engraved upon his heart, woven through his memories, and have made a home within him such that he wouldn’t truly be the same without them. These are things he knows too deeply to ever forget.</p><p>They are the reason Achilles goes alert and concerned when Zagreus trips over the edge of the carpet he commissioned for the West Hall a while back.</p><p>It’s just a snag of the toe, and Zagreus is certainly no worse off for it, righting himself with ease, but Achilles instantly notices it as something out of place. Zagreus is steady with his steps and perceptive of his surroundings. Achilles knows well from their training that Zagreus is difficult to trip up, even when Achilles is doing his damnedest to accomplish just that. The lad is always on his feet and he keeps his feet well, especially in the house that he’s so accustomed to.</p><p>Though the fumble doesn’t stop him from approaching Achilles for a chat, as is his habit.</p><p>“Are you alright, lad? You seem a bit off.” Looking him over now, it’s only more clear. One corner of his mouth is quirked up like he forgot to bother with the rest of his usual smile. His eyes flit distractedly over Achilles’ form, lacking focus.</p><p>They meet Achilles’ gaze for the briefest moments before he replies, “Of course, don’t worry! My run just got cut a bit shorter than it usually does by bad luck in Elysium with Theseus doing the honors, and I think it has me a bit riled up.”</p><p>Zagreus doesn’t rile easily, not at all, at least, not for anything other than Hades. And Achilles knows that wouldn’t cause that faint wilt of his shoulders and that slight tightness between his brows.</p><p>“Are you sure? You look quite worn. When’s the last time you got any rest?”</p><p>The line of his mouth curls into a full smile then, one certainly meant to put him at ease, but to Achilles, the fact that he has to put effort into the grin just further solidifies his concern.</p><p>“What can I say, I haven’t been tired! Why keep still when I could be rampaging through father’s domain and wreaking all his hard work instead- you know me sir! You don’t have to worry about me.”</p><p>Achilles does know Zagreus. He also knows he’s lying.</p><p>“Nothing will stop me from worrying about you when something is wrong, Zagreus,” he tells him softly. “Especially since even <em> you </em> need a break on occasion. And I get the feeling that you’ve been ignoring that necessity for quite some time now.”</p><p>Zagreus looks away without a proper response, likely because he’s heard Achilles say as much countless times.</p><p>“Would you be willing to take a moment to breathe if I kept you company?” and at least his concern helps subdue some of his nervousness at making the offer. “We could go to the lounge and share a drink for a while.”</p><p>A spark of yearning brightens Zagreus for a moment before fizzling out. His shoulders lift slightly as he frowns. “I don’t want to take up your time, sir. I know your breaks are the only time you can finally see Patroclus, and I don’t want to keep you apart. I promise I’m fine, I don’t mean to distract you from more important things.”</p><p>Achilles grips his bare bicep gently, hoping to keep him in place long enough to convince him to rest, for the prince’s own sake. “You and your wellbeing are <em> very </em> important to me,” he declares firmly. Zagreus takes a deeper breath, almost imperceptible, but Achilles sees. “And I assure you, just because I can go visit Patroclus, that doesn't mean I no longer want to spend time with the other people I care about. Trust me, I do.”</p><p>Zagreus blinks at him, seemingly at a loss for what to say.</p><p>Achilles squeezes his arm and grins, hoping to comfort the weary prince. “Besides,” he says, levity in his voice now, “I assure you that if I spent my every free moment with Patroclus, he’d be chasing me away in no time. I’d truly enjoy spending my break with you, if you’re willing.”</p><p>Finally, <em> finally, </em> a true smile spreads across Zagreus’s face, easing the stress from his features. A tired smile, yes, but a genuine one.</p><p>“Agh, you tempt me sorely,” he huffs. “Alright, you win. Let’s go and start with a toast to Theseus for helping me keep the lounge <em> so generously stocked </em> with ambrosia.”</p><p>Achilles can’t help but scoff at the smirk on his face, shoving his arm gently to get him moving towards the lounge.</p><p>Achilles had worried, after that first conversation with Patroclus, that having his feelings for Zagreus pulled to the forefront of his mind would make things awkward between them. He was beyond glad when that had proved not the case. He finds himself flustered by Zagreus more often now and occasionally he distracts himself from their conversations thinking over how he might broach his feelings, but the two have known each other too well for too long for such little missteps to undermine the familiar, comfortable, rhythm of their interactions.</p><p>They toast Theseus indeed, clinking glasses filled with the drink of the gods that Zagreus claimed from one of his numerous victories. They talk easily about whatever comes to mind. Zagreus boasts about how many harsh conditions from the Pact of Punishment he can endure now, foiling Hades’ every attempt to stop him. Achilles recounts how the queen recently repeated Zagreus’s efforts to get Cerberus to play with the toys he bought him to utterly no success, although Cerberus seemed to take great pleasure in the attention.</p><p>The time they share is soothing and blissful and Achilles hopes the drink will keep Zagreus from noticing that his eyes linger on him more than they maybe should.</p><p>After a while, he manages to coax Zagreus into actually sitting down on one of the seats he paid the House Contractor for. On one hand, Achilles is very pleased he’s comfortable enough to give his body the rest it very clearly needs. On the other hand, it unnerves him that he managed to convince him at all.</p><p>Zagreus never sits down, and for him to feel exhausted enough to do so willingly is a very rare thing.</p><p>During a lull in conversation, he risks bringing it up again.</p><p>“You really do look tired lad. Running through the Underworld over and over again without a break... When’s the last time your room saw more than a passing glimpse of you?”</p><p>Zagreus doesn’t meet his eye, but he still admits, “I don’t remember.”</p><p>“Being energetic is one thing, but this is something else. You’re clearly running out of energy, yet you keep pushing yourself.” He leans forward to set a hand over his wrist gently. “Is there anything I can do to help?”</p><p>“I just- I guess it’s just that I’ve finally found a place for myself here and that’s doing my job trying to escape so Father can test the security of the realm. And I don’t want to lose that, I want-” His fingers tighten into fists, extend, then tighten again as he searches for what to say.</p><p>“I still feel like I don’t belong in this house, just like before, because the only purpose I’ve found is all out there.” He waves a hand in the direction of his bedroom and to all of the Underworld beyond that. “And it’s not that I don’t enjoy trying to escape- I <em> do, </em> I’m glad to finally have something I’m <em> good </em> at, but... I don’t know how I’m supposed to rest when this place makes me feel <em> so... </em> restless.”</p><p>Achilles hums his sympathy, murmuring a soft “I see.” Zagreus rubs at the bridge of his nose, eyes closed, clearly abandoning any attempt to hide his fatigue.</p><p>“You’ve found a place where you can put your energy; I’m so glad for that,” Achilles tells him gently, and it’s true. “But you need to understand, Zagreus, that you also need to find a place where you can rest. Otherwise, you’ll run yourself into the ground. The places we have to let ourselves relax and be at ease are just as valuable as the ones where we put our passion.”</p><p>Zagreus meets his eyes with an open stare. With an earnest understanding that breaks Achilles’ heart, he says, “But I don’t have one. I don’t have a place to rest. You’re right, but, I haven’t found one, so...”</p><p>He doesn’t finish and he doesn’t need to.</p><p>“Perhaps...” Achilles starts, “allow me to try and tempt you once again. Let me try and make the house more comfortable tonight so you can rest.”</p><p>Zagreus licks his lips. For a shade, Achilles certainly remembers the sound of his racing pulse very well.</p><p>“You’ve already done more than enough for me tonight- or today, sir. The break has been good for me, I admit it. I really appreciate it.”</p><p>“You need <em> sleep </em> Zagreus. I know you’re able to, for as much as you pretend otherwise.”</p><p>“Well, actually, I don’t really <em> need </em> to sleep-”</p><p>Achilles huffs loudly, breath stirring his cut short lock of hair. “Don’t you start with a ‘well, actually,’ I swear...” Zagreus grins a little. “I should recruit Hypnos to give you a lecture on the importance of sleep.”</p><p>Half a laugh, half a groan, “Oh, <em> please </em> do not.”</p><p>Achilles hums thoughtfully, though he doesn’t actually intend to go through with the threat. “Regardless, just because a god doesn’t need sleep to <em> survive, </em> doesn’t mean that you don’t benefit from getting any. There is a place between those two extremes. I just want to make sure you get the rest you need to stay well.”</p><p>“How do you intend...?” Zagreus trails off. His gaze has sharpened, searching Achilles face. He knows it’s far from innocuous to be proposing that he help Zagreus fall asleep, but Achilles truly isn’t in it to initiate something sexual. Despite his own feelings for the prince, he hadn't lied about how much he cares for his wellbeing.</p><p>That comes before anything. Even if his affections are rejected, even if Zagreus no longer feels for him what he once did, he will do everything he can to support and comfort him.</p><p>Achilles meets Zagreus’s eye in a way he hopes conveys that. “Perhaps a massage?” he says, needing effort to keep his voice level. “If you’ve kept any of the same habits from when I trained you, I imagine all your muscles are tied in knots. Anything, really, you think might help you relax.”</p><p>Zagreus’s expression is hard to read. He looks like... he <em> wants </em> something. Fiercely.</p><p>Achilles can’t tell what it is. He might want Achilles in the same way he once did, in the same way Achilles wants him now. He might want to flee the house and race into the Underworld and away from him, as fast as his fiery feet will allow.</p><p>Achilles swallows his fear. There’s one way to find out.</p><p>He rises from his seat “Although, it seems like getting you into bed might be a good first step?” He extends a hand to Zagreus. The prince hesitates. Achilles wonders what his own expression looks like right now.</p><p>And although Achilles wants to help him regardless of his own attraction, he’s not a fool. If Zagreus accepts, it will be the best chance he’s had to reveal what’s in his heart. He doesn’t intend to waste it. This is far from a subtle way to test the waters, but, <em> but- </em></p><p>Zagreus takes his hand.</p><p>“Alright, you win again.” His expression is cautious, yet still so full of <em> want. </em></p><p>Zagreus’s bedroom has a homey sort of clutter to it, far from true disarray, but a disorder that makes the room feel more lived in than Achilles knows it to be. His eyes catch on things Achilles doesn’t recognize from the last time he was here. A scrying pool next to the entrance of the courtyard, a game table that looks untouched, and the enormous mirror he knows was a gift from Nyx.</p><p>Zagreus looks woefully out of place.</p><p>“Here,” Achilles prompts. He nudges the skulls adorning Zagreus’s shoulder. “Take that off and lay in bed. I’ll help ease some of the tension from your muscles.”</p><p>“Right,” Zagreus mumbles, casting his pauldron to the side. He also takes the opportunity to pull his arm from his chiton, leaving the fabric hanging around his belt. His bare torso is hardly anything Achilles hasn’t seen before, and Zagreus’s clothes only conceal about half of it anyway, but it is alluring enough to make him pause as he takes him in.</p><p>Then Zagreus’s eyes meet his own and he blinks.</p><p>When Zagreus goes to his bed, Achilles follows. The prince pulls himself to the center and lays out on his stomach, folding his arms beneath his head. Achilles lifts himself onto the plush, blue covers and sits cross legged beside Zagreus’s waist. The prince’s head is turned to face him, but he doesn’t strain his neck to look up at Achilles’ face.</p><p>“Comfortable?”</p><p>“Not really,” Zagreus tells him, sounding too resigned to that fact for Achilles’ taste.</p><p>He leans over to rest his hands on his shoulder blades. “Let me try to change that, then.” He presses down with the pads of his thumbs then rolls the pressure down to the base of his palms then the outsides of his hands, tending to the muscles of Zagreus’s back. A little noise escapes him as he starts and Achilles sees his eyes close and his brows pinch.</p><p>A soft grunt leaves Achilles’ own lips. “Your muscles feel harder than rocks, lad. You know, you should consider stretching at least once in a blue moon as you’re rampaging through the Underworld,” he admonishes out of habit.</p><p>“I do!” Zagreus retorts defensively. “Regularly!”</p><p>“All the more reason to take a true break every once in a while, then. If you’ve been taking care of your body well and yet you’re <em> still </em> this tensed up...” Achilles doesn’t finish, but the reality of the situation still weighs heavy in his chest.</p><p>Zagreus presses his cheek into the crook of his arm, looking chastised.</p><p>Achilles sighs softly. “Just relax for right now Zagreus. You’re safe. You can let yourself go.” His voice comes out lower than he intends.</p><p>He feels Zagreus tense up even further under his hands for a moment before gradually, yet undeniably, easing.</p><p>Achilles continues his ministrations in the subsequent quiet. He slowly shifts his attention from his shoulders to the back of his neck to his spine down to the small of his back. His touch is firm and his presence steady, but he takes care to never press too harshly into Zagreus’s muscles, sore as they must be. Muffled sounds rise from the prince on occasion when Achilles finds a particularly tender spot.</p><p>It’s far from a complete cure to Zagreus’s stress, but he can tell it’s helped. Much of the tension has bled from his form and from the room as a whole, leaving Zagreus’s bedroom a more comfortable space than before. Achilles can’t help but feel pleased with his work, even as anxiety prickles in the back of his mind about what he might tell his prince.</p><p>Before he can make any sort of decision, Zagreus begins to squirm slightly on the bed. It’s subtle movements, here and there, but they speak to a disquiet Achilles had hoped to chase from him.</p><p>He hesitates to mention it, worried Zagreus will take the chance to excuse himself and throw himself back out the window just beyond the room. As he debates what to do, Zagreus speaks first. “Achilles... why are you doing this?”</p><p>His hands still over his skin. He hesitates. One beat, then two. “I told you,” he elects to say. “I want nothing but the best for you and I hoped my care might ease some of the burden on your shoulders.”</p><p>Zagreus stirs, jostling his hands away as he rolls from his stomach to his side. He lifts himself upright so he can fully look Achilles in the eye. “It feels like more than that,” Zagreus states.</p><p>It is.</p><p>An expression Achilles doesn’t expect comes over Zagreus’s face then. It is bold and determined and his gaze turns <em> heavy. </em> It’s the stubbornness he always knew was in him manifesting in a way he’s never seen before.</p><p>“If there’s something more to this, Achilles, I want you to tell me.”</p><p>It strikes Achilles, in that moment, how much Zagreus has changed. It runs deeper than his growing strength at arms, honed by perpetual conflict through each level of the Underworld. It’s more than his deepened connection with his family, made anew by the return of his mother which he fought so hard for.</p><p>Zagreus isn’t the same young godling he led through spear drills so long ago. Achilles has been fully aware of this for a long time, but only now does he see the difference between how he once grappled so desperately for a sense of self and who he was meant to be and how he holds himself now.</p><p>Zagreus has changed in his understanding of himself as well. He’s found a new confidence that’s revealed a truer picture of who he is.</p><p>Zagreus has fired a straight shot. And despite how much Achilles hadn’t been expecting it, it’s so very <em> Zagreus. </em></p><p>It makes the feeling in his chest shiver, then settle, like falling into place.</p><p>“I <em> want </em> to be with you, here, like this,” Achilles intones, finally allowing the full measure of his desire to enter his voice.</p><p>Zagreus hears it. It makes him lean in.</p><p>Achilles closes the distance.</p><p>The kiss is simple, yet tender. Achilles feels shivery in a way he hasn’t in a long time and he hopes he isn’t actually trembling with it. Even when he first saw Patroclus after all that time, they came together with an inevitable familiarity. This is... new. The pressure of the kiss ebbs and flows in a unique rhythm. Achilles isn’t ready when Zagreus pulls back.</p><p>“You told me... I thought that you didn’t feel this way about me.” Zagreus’s eyes scan his face, searching desperately for the answers Achilles denied him in the past.</p><p>Achilles <em> does </em> shiver then, running through him, leaving him feeling raw. “I’m sorry, Zagreus, for not telling you how I truly feel about you before now. I love you. I did then, too. I was simply... too caught up in my own foolishness and turmoil to accept the affections of someone so much more vibrant than I.”</p><p>Zagreus frowns slightly at that, but before Achilles can ask why, he pulls him into another kiss.</p><p>This one is longer. Much longer. They explore each other through the join of their lips. This kiss deepens for a time, angling and opening to let them taste one another. After a while it eases back, returning to something more simple.</p><p>Achilles feels the flow of the prince’s warm breath when they part. They share another kiss. A third.</p><p>They barely pull back when they separate. Their noses still brush against one another. Zagreus’s eyes remain closed and his lips graze Achilles’ own when he whispers, “I’ve wanted this for so long." Achilles’ chest aches.</p><p>"I'm sorry. Forgive me for being too jaded to accept your affections when gods know I wanted this too."</p><p>"You don't have to apologize-" Zagreus tries to say.</p><p>"Please, I do. I left you in uncertainty for so long. It was selfish and hurtful and I need to apologize for it."</p><p>That makes Zagreus pause, but it's still with heart wrenching promptness that he responds, "I forgive you."</p><p>Achilles has no lungs that need filling, but it is still out of a certain need that he drags in a deep breath. "You're too good for me, Zagreus."</p><p>The prince makes an upset noise beneath him. "Please don't say that," he requests so very earnestly, and it makes Achilles stop short, his roiling guilt fizzling out.</p><p>An abrupt laugh erupts from him that startles him as much as it seems to startle Zagreus who leans back to stare at him with wide eyes. “It occurs to me that I'm being rather self destructive as I'm apologizing for being self destructive.”</p><p>Zagreus blinks at him, once, owlishly, then <em> smiles. </em> "Maybe just a bit," he agrees cheekily.</p><p>Chest thrumming with fondness, Achilles smiles back. “I hope you’ll pardon my clumsiness with all this. I’m afraid bad habits are always the hardest to break.” And I have plenty of them, he almost adds before cutting that thought off. Mmm. One step at a time.</p><p>Zagreus rolls over onto his back, propped up on his elbows. Achilles immediately shifts over, closing the gap that formed between them. “That’s fine. I know the feeling.” He smiles, eyelids fluttering shut for a moment when Achilles brushes his hand over the inside of his arm.</p><p>“Besides, I should be congratulating you, really. You succeeded in what you came here to do.” Achilles cocks his head, wondering if, though not truly believing that Zagreus might be teasing him for his fumbling confession.</p><p>“I’m tired,” Zagreus declares. “And I think, if you stay with me... then I could get some sleep.”</p><p>Surprise breaks across Achilles’ face, then fades into amused affection. He leans in to plant a kiss, short and sweet, on the prince’s lips.</p><p>He pulls back, looks him in the eye, and announces, <em> “Thank the gods.” </em></p><p>Zagreus laughs and Achilles can’t help but laugh with him.</p><p>Zagreus undoes the skull belt from around his waist and casts it aside. He pulls away his outer crimson chiton and rights the darker one back over his shoulder. When Achilles brushes his leg, he shifts accommodatingly so he can undo his greaves, freeing his calves.</p><p>When he glances up, he sees Zagreus part his lips, as if to speak, only to hesitate. Achilles tilts his head slightly, reverting his focus to the prince. Zagreus shifts slightly, then says, “Patroclus is...” He trails off.</p><p>“Patroclus is well aware of my affections for you and has no issue with me pursuing them,” Achilles finishes for him. “In fact, he’s taken up griping at me to do something about it ever since he noticed them.”</p><p>“Well, I’m glad you finally did,” Zagreus says with a smile, his brief discomfort leaving him. A small part of Achilles wants to be offended at the thought that Zagreus would even consider that Achilles might court him if it would hurt Patroclus. Yet he knows that the fact he waited until now to bring it up is a display of that trust in and of itself. Zagreus had asked after Patroclus anyway because it is part of his nature to be so kind and caring with everyone’s wellbeing, and the far larger part of Achilles loves him for it.</p><p>He grasps Zagreus’s hand and presses a kiss to his knuckles. “I’m glad I did too.” Zagreus flushes and smiles.</p><p>Achilles sheds his cloak and strips off his bracers, setting them down beside the bed. He undoes his cuirass with nimble fingers and adds it to the pile.</p><p>“Do you usually keep that on?” Zagreus asks, sounding cautious. When he looks back, he finds the prince’s gaze focused just above his own and realizes he means the band in his hair.</p><p>“Ah, no, though I'm prone to forgetting about it,” Achilles answers as he pulls it away. Zagreus has his head on one of the pillows now as he watches Achilles acutely. Achilles prods his side. “Move a little and I’ll get the blankets.”</p><p>Zagreus shifts his weight to let him pull the covers free. He rests on his back and Achilles lays at his side before settling the blankets over them both. Zagreus curls closer, receptive to his presence. He raises a hand between them where it hovers a moment in some internal deliberation before coming to curl in Achilles hair.</p><p>“You have beautiful hair,” he comments after a few moments of shifting it through his fingers. “I’ve always wanted to do this.”</p><p>There’s an open, deep seated yearning in his voice that renders his confession vulnerable.</p><p>“You’re more than welcome to, Zagreus,” Achilles murmurs in response. Even through the drowsy haze starting to fall over him, he see Zagreus’s smile, a little shaky and so very full of love and he relishes in it.</p><p>Achilles closes his eyes and feels his hand ease through his hair for a few minutes before pulling away and slipping under the blankets.</p><p>The temptation to say something more ebbs and flows but, in the end, the silence remains unbroken by both of them. They have all the time in the world to talk and, more importantly, right now, it’s about damn time that Zagreus gets some sleep.</p><p>Movement at his side wakes him after a time, late at night.</p><p>Or day, he corrects himself reflexively, and that’s what makes Achilles remember where he is. A restful sleep seems to always make him forget he’s dead, just for a moment.</p><p>He opens his eyes blearily to see Zagreus sitting up just as he hoists himself away from Achilles to sit on the edge of the bed. He starts to lean down, only to jolt upright again when Achilles says his name.</p><p>Zagreus looks back at him, his gaze warm, but a touch guilty. “Ah, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”</p><p>Achilles lifts his head from the pillow slightly, further focusing on Zagreus form. “How long have you been awake?” he murmurs quietly, hoping to preserve the possibility of going back to sleep, more for Zagreus’s sake than his own, as fruitless as it might be.</p><p>“Not long, woke up just a few minutes ago, I think.”</p><p>Yet already so restless, Achilles notes sadly. “Not feeling inclined to laze around in bed with me then?” he asks with a casual tone that doesn’t really manage to hide the depth of his question.</p><p>Zagreus wilts then. He turns his head back to stare down at his lap as his shoulders drop. “I already feel quite awake, I’m afraid.” he rasps, as if his wakefulness is exhausting in its own way. He fidgets with his fingers anxiously.</p><p>“Would you be willing to stay for a while anyway? You don’t have to go back to sleep if you don’t want to.” Zagreus doesn’t move immediately and Achilles has to suppress a sigh. “It would be good for you to take a bit more time to relax instead of throwing yourself back into your escape attempts right after waking up.”</p><p>Zagreus angles himself more towards Achilles, but he doesn’t move to change his perch at the edge of the bed. “I don’t <em> want </em> to leave.” His expression is strained and conflicted. “But I just <em> feel-” </em> The prince makes an agitated noise in his throat and clenches his hands.</p><p>Achilles rolls onto his side now, leveraging himself up on one arm. He reaches out to gently take one of his hands and waits until Zagreus meets his eye. “Have you considered, Zagreus, that one of the reasons you feel so ill at ease in the house, even in your own room, is <em> because </em> you never stay here.” Achilles brushes his thumb back and forth over the back of his hand. “I know you leave so often because you don’t feel like you belong, but that means you have such little time to adjust to this house and everything about it.”</p><p>It brings a sort of sad longing to Zagreus’s eyes. “I never really thought of it like that,” he murmurs.</p><p>“I know I said you need to <em> find </em> a place you are willing to relax, but it’s not as simple as stumbling into something and immediately feeling at peace. You need to spend the time to grow accustomed to resting, lingering on purpose until you linger out of habit.”</p><p>Achilles pulls his hand in and presses a tender kiss to his knuckles. “Us being together won’t work a miracle, as much as I want that for you. I don’t expect all your time at my beck and call, I just... would like you to give it some thought when I ask you to stay a little longer.”</p><p>Zagreus shuffles around to pull his legs back onto the bed and fully face Achilles. He feels lighter seeing the sorrow fade from his countenance, replaced by a deeply familiar determination and a loving affection, newly embraced. It makes his heart flutter.</p><p>Zagreus nods seriously. “I’ll stay then.”</p><p>Smiling and tugging on his hand, Achilles rumbles, “Get back here then.” Zagreus grins and scoots in, only to have Achilles seize him about the waist and drag him back onto the bed. Zagreus collapses into him, laughing vibrantly.</p><p>He peers up at him through his lashes, humming with an amused lilt. “What?” Achilles prods, seeing the humor in the way he looks at him.</p><p>“Your hair is in quite a state of disarray,” Zagreus informs him, staring at his curls.</p><p>Achilles makes a disgruntled noise and brushes a hand through his hair that gets not very far at all before tangles force it to a halt. “I imagine it is.” He could never sleep on his hair without ruining it by the time he woke.</p><p>“Would you like me to brush it out for you?” Zagreus offers cheerfully.</p><p>Something about the question smothers the warmth growing in him and sets something uncomfortable under his skin. He doesn’t hesitate to dismiss, “I can handle it myself. You don’t have to worry about it,” to put things back in their proper places.</p><p>A still moment passes as he sees from the corner of his eye (when did he turn away?), Zagreus observing him steadily. “May I anyway?” he asks, so clear and simple. It’s a spark struck at the pitiable, wet kindling that remains of the abruptly quenched flame that had flickered in Achilles.</p><p>But the spark catches and the warmth, weak and stuttering but present, starts to take hold again because <em> of course </em> it does, because it’s <em> Zagreus. </em> There’s an ache somewhere deep inside his ribcage, but he can’t bring himself to deny him.</p><p>“Well, when you ask like that...” His voice wavers frustratingly, but kind, gracious Zagreus doesn’t mention it.</p><p>Instead, he shifts away towards the little table beside the bed, pulling open the drawer and rummaging around inside, muttering, “Blood and darkness, where did I put that thing?”</p><p><em> “Your </em> hair looks quite well in place for just waking up,” Achilles observes aloud, distracting from the tension in his chest.</p><p>“That’s because ‘in place’ for me is really just letting my hair do whatever it pleases.” Abandoning his search of the drawer, Zagreus slides part way off the bed to start looking around a lower surface of the table.</p><p>“Lucky.” Achilles accuses.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Zagreus half wheezes from the way his weight presses his lungs into the edge of the mattress. “I think long hair is really pretty. I would want to grow mine out if it wouldn’t drive me insane. I cou- <em> oof!” </em> The prince falls down the bed until only his hips and legs remain only to crow, “Found it!” and inelegantly grapple himself back up, hair brush in hand.</p><p>Achilles pulls him back onto the bed properly once again as Zagreus snatches a spare cloth from the bedside table to free the brush of some of his black hairs. “You could take a page out of your mother’s book,” Achilles suggests, settling upright near the headboard. “Grow your hair out in the back and keep it bound.”</p><p>Zagreus situates himself cross legged at Achilles’ side. “I would never make it that far.” His knuckles brush over his temple as he softly holds the first lock of hair in place before lifting the brush to start teasing the tangles out. “Growing it out would still be an absolute disaster. I’m horrible at taking care of my hair. At least as it is, it just makes it look a bit messy; if it was much longer, I imagine it would start to look like some sort of abomination.”</p><p>Achilles hums. “Well, I think your hair suits you very well as is.” Given how chaotic the search for the brush in Zagreus’s hand had been, he feels safe assuming there’s not another one in the room. So, Achilles lifts a hand to comb his fingers through the prince’s hair instead. His fingers find far fewer snags than the ones that snare his own thick curls but he works them loose nonetheless. The prince gives a pleased little wriggle at the feeling.</p><p>It doesn’t take long to do, however, and when Zagreus shifts around to brush the back of his hair, he finds himself lacking any task or conversation to distract him and the discomfort creeps back.</p><p>“You really don’t have to do this, you know,” Achilles says reflexively, Zagreus’s hold on his hair giving him the perfect excuse not to turn and meet his eye. Heat starts to sting in his cheeks. “You don’t have to burden yourself with something like this.”</p><p>“I’d like to do it though,” Zagreus tells him gently. The brush rasps through his locks for a few moments. “Does it feel nice?”</p><p>“I- Yes...”Achilles answers hesitantly and he’s pretty sure it’s true.</p><p>“That’s good then,” Zagreus states and Achilles sighs, trying to loosen the tension in his shoulders.</p><p>“What weapon do you think I should start out with today?” he asks Achilles casually. “I was thinking Aegis but I’m not sure.”</p><p>Zagreus is kind and Achilles, not quite so proud as he once was, accepts the distraction gratefully. “Hmm. How have you been handling Exagryph so far, lad? That weapon is far from anything I had the experience to teach you about.”</p><p>They talk idly about Zagreus’s experiences with the Infernal Arms, pausing when Zagreus has to lift himself over Achilles’ legs to reach his other side. Achilles takes comfort in the familiar cadence of his voice even as he attempts to properly appreciate the feeling of him tending to his hair, trying to push aside his misplaced guilt.</p><p>Zagreus runs his fingers through it a few times before declaring his task complete. Once again he clambers over to the side of the bed and leans over. He tosses the brush on to the bedside table as he does, where it spins on its back a few times before tipping over the edge to the floor for Zagreus to swear at then ignore. When he hauls himself back up this time, he has Achilles’ silver circlet in his grasp.</p><p>“I can...” Achilles doesn’t bother to finish that thought when Zagreus doesn’t even bother to acknowledge it.</p><p>Achilles watches the very tip of his tongue press down on his bottom lip while Zagreus stares as he lowers the circlet carefully so it rests evenly around his head. He doesn’t finish leaning back fully before a “Wait, that’s not right,” and leaning right back in. He lifts the band and pulls free the tresses on Achilles’ right, letting them settle naturally after he lowers the circlet back over the rest of his hair.</p><p>Something in Achilles thrums with blissful contentment at the subtle gesture of Zagreus’s understanding of him and his habits.</p><p>“Feel right?” Zagreus inquires, nothing if not devoted. In answer, Achilles cups his face between his palms and kisses him, slow and tender. A small, surprised sound vibrates through Zagreus and then he smiles against his lips and gods, Achilles loves him so very much.</p><p>“I deeply appreciate your attention,” Achilles says upon pulling back. “It’s-” He cuts himself off abruptly, heated with a sudden, strange frustration at himself.</p><p>“It’s what?” Zagreus sets the pads of his fingers light and comforting on his arm.</p><p>Achilles pulls a face. “I was going to say ‘it’s far more than I deserve,’” he decides to admit.</p><p>Zagreus blinks. “But it’s not,” he states evenly.</p><p>Here is where Achilles should repeat him, should say <em> but it’s not </em> in return. He can’t quite manage it though. He tries to summon the words but all that comes to his tongue is a bitter taste. “So I’m trying to convince myself,” he says instead but Zagreus does not look disappointed.</p><p>In fact, he smiles. “I know you will in time!” Zagreus kisses him this time, at the corner of his mouth first, then properly on his lips.</p><p>When he pulls back, Achilles sets his hands on his waist to stop him from going far, keeping their bodies close. He murmurs, “I value your faith in me.” The prince makes a satisfied little noise and sets his head on Achilles’s shoulder.</p><p>“And how do you feel, Zagreus?” Achilles runs a hand over his back and between his shoulder blades. “Your muscles still feel more relaxed than they had been; that’s good.”</p><p>Zagreus ruffles his hair up self consciously. “Thanks to you they are.”</p><p>Achilles hums contemplatively. “Not entirely. I wouldn’t have forced you to accept my ministrations.” He sets a hand beneath Zagreus's chin and angles his face up to place a short, sweet kiss to his lips. “I appreciate you letting yourself rest for a time.”</p><p>Zagreus’s expression goes sheepish. “I have to admit, it was nicer than I expected. Still feels strange though, to hang around here.”</p><p>“I suppose that’s no surprise,” Achilles concedes. “I think you’ve rested well by the way. If you want to make for the surface again I wouldn’t advise against it.” Achilles himself ought to be getting back to his post sooner rather than later, but a part of knows it would be very unwise to mention it.</p><p>“I have the Achilles’ seal of approval then?” Zagreus laughs.</p><p><em> “For now,” </em> he warns, raising a brow. “You’d best not let it get this bad again.”</p><p>“I won’t, I promise.” And Achilles appreciates the seriousness he shows before letting a gleam of mischief enter his gaze. “Besides, I’m sure you can convince me otherwise.”</p><p>“Perhaps I can,” he purrs.</p><p>Zagreus pulls himself free of Achilles’ grasp with a sly smile. “For now though, I think I’ll make another run.”</p><p>The prince sits at the edge of the bed and gathers his effects from where he discarded them last night (or day). He puts on his crimson chiton and belt and lets Achilles fix his skull pauldron as he fastens on his greaves. Zagreus springs to his feet but, to his surprise, doesn’t leave just yet. Instead, he lifts up Achilles’ cloak and waits until he’s put on his cuirass then wraps it over his shoulders and pins it with the emblem of the House. He hands over his bracers as well which Achilles straps on with speed born of practice.</p><p>Achilles rises to his feet fluidly and sees Zagreus flick his eyes over him once, ever so briefly, as if something about him has changed. Perhaps something has.</p><p>Scuffing his heel awkwardly, he says, "Suppose I should be off, then." Indeed, the prince already looks antsy.</p><p>Taking pity, Achilles says, "Good luck out there. You'll have to tell me how it goes when you return."</p><p>"I'll be certain to." Zagreus makes the slightest twitch back only to blink at him as if surprised then grin and lean in to give him a peck on the lips. Achilles returns the gesture as he pulls back, just as swift and sweet, to remind the prince that his affections are fully reciprocated.</p><p>And perhaps just for another kiss.</p><p>Zagreus glows. "Be back soon enough, then!" He dashes to the courtyard, overflowing with vibrancy Achilles can never truly comprehend, but adores nonetheless, then stops short just inside the doorway and whirls around. “Wait, you didn’t pick! Aegis or Exagryph?”</p><p>“Hm, Aegis. Use that aspect you said you haven’t tried yet.”</p><p>Zagreus beams. “Can do!” And then he’s gone.</p><p>Before leaving, Achilles spares a moment to look at his hair in the enormous mirror of night. It looks much the same as he typically has it, save for where Zagreus tucked his hair behind his left ear.</p><p>Achilles leaves it. He strides from Prince Zagreus's room with a little, smitten smile on his face.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Not pictured: Hypnos wakes up in a cold sweat from absolute shock in the middle of the great hall because Zag actually fell asleep</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Down on Earth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Zagreus shines as bright as the sun and his light illuminates things Achilles hasn’t seen before. Patroclus is more focused on the shadows it casts.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Patroclus-”</p><p>“I’m just saying.”</p><p>“The notion is ridiculous, it’s nothing like that.”</p><p>“Well...” He grimaces slightly at Achilles’ stubborn expression. “Who do they have take your place at the guard post when you’re off duty?”</p><p>Achilles stares silently at him just long enough to answer the question anyway then presses his palms against his eyes.</p><p>“Oh, Achilles...” Patroclus wheezes through a laugh.</p><p>He cuts off, perking up at the sound of a door grinding opening nearby and Achilles silently and profusely thanks Zagreus for coming by at that precise moment. “It seems we have a visitor,” Patroclus informs him as he typically does, even though Achilles can hear his entrance just as well.</p><p>Soon enough, his prince comes into view, crossing their little bridge over the Lethe. He smiles brightly, greeting them with a cheery “Hello, sirs!” Achilles notes with pleasure that he seems energetic and well rested.</p><p>Since beginning their romantic relationship a little while ago, Achilles has made numerous efforts to get Zagreus to relax and take the time he needs to recover to various degrees of success. But he’s glad that it’s made enough difference overall that he’s not running himself ragged anymore.</p><p>Their moments of respite frequently come at the expense of letting his prince dote on him, insisting on brushing his hair, or sharing a bath, or returning the favor that first massage Achilles gave. The gestures are something he would usually reject out of reflex, but they always leave him feeling content and <em> loved </em> by the end of it. Zagreus drives a hard bargain and Achilles knows he’s well aware of what he’s doing.</p><p>The lad is smart, and who is Achilles to deny his efforts to guide him away from his more detrimental tendencies when Achilles is trying to do just the same for him.</p><p>Zagreus hums happily when he leans in and kisses his cheek. “Hello there, stranger,” Patroclus says at his side with an affection Achilles knows he would never use with a true stranger.</p><p>Patroclus has been busy confronting Achilles’ nonsense in his own way. He’s more than familiar with the way Achilles talks, and he cuts him off the moment he notices their conversations moving in such a direction. When Achilles ends up particularly stubborn, helpless to do anything but cling to his old habits, Pat has taken to tackling him to the ground, tussling until they inevitably end up kissing, like they did sometimes as youths. </p><p>It warms Achilles from head to toe to be besides the ones he loves so much. He’s so beyond lucky to have them and have their love and their care for him.</p><p>“I’m glad I came across you,” Zagreus says, shifting his gaze from Achilles to Patroclus. Pat looks him up and down in return.</p><p>“Is that so?” he muses. “And yet, you seem quite well off already.” Achilles sees the same, that Zagreus is unscathed, by and large. It sparks a different pride in him to see what a capable warrior he’s become, first instructed by his hand and then by his own experience from his escape attempts.</p><p>“I suppose I am.” Zagreus looks quite pleased at the observation, flushing prettily. He accepts the chimera jerky Patroclus hands over. “Ah, you guessed it. That’s not why I’m happy to see you, though.”</p><p>“I see. It is fortunate that you got here while Achilles is here. He’s always a pretty sight, isn’t he?” Achilles wrinkles his nose at the amused undercurrent of his voice and shoves him with his shoulder, which just earns him a chuckle.</p><p>Zagreus huffs and scowls, shifting his weight restlessly. “Not that. I mean, you’re right, of course-” Achilles makes an embarrassed noise in his throat- “but I was looking for you regardless. I’ve been through Elysium a few times now, but my path didn’t bring me to you.”</p><p>Patroclus regards the prince with a strange expression at that, one Achilles can’t identify. There is a slight tension to him now, though, and he wonders at it.</p><p>“Well, you’d best tell me why. I’m hard pressed to think of a reason myself.”</p><p>A fond sort of exasperation washes over Zagreus’s face as he produces a bottle of ambrosia and presents it to Patroclus. “Here. I’ve been meaning to give you this for a while, sir,” he tells him as he takes the gift.</p><p>Patroclus stares at the bottle in his hands, scrutinizing it as if it withholds some answer he wants. “I’ve told you, you don’t have to keep giving me this stuff. If you want to worm yourself into my good graces, you’ve already more than accomplished that.” Zagreus huffs again. “I’m certainly not worth the drink of the gods.”</p><p>That makes Achilles what to cut in and debate such a statement, but Zagreus already has it well in hand. “Nonsense. I could rob Olympus of <em> all </em> their ambrosia and it still wouldn’t be worth anything compared to you.” Patroclus hands tighten around the bottle. Achilles hums in agreement, a sound he seems to ignore.</p><p>“That’s... Well. I don’t know why I’ve become the object of your generosity, but I can’t quite bring myself to deny it when it tastes so sweet.” Patroclus frowns and furrows his brow as if he regrets his choice of words. He hesitates, then leans over and sets down the ambrosia for now, behind the pair of them.</p><p>“Thank you,” he says, a strange lilt to his voice, raw and rough and something Achilles <em> can </em> identify, and <em> oh, he-! </em></p><p>A little punched out noise of surprise comes from him, attracting the attention of his lovers. “Achilles?” Zagreus asks curiously. Patroclus raises a brow.</p><p>“It’s nothing,” he tells the prince, suddenly understanding why Pat had urged him on so briskly back during their first time together again. This demands immediate questioning. “A thought just occurred to me; it’s not relevant.”</p><p>Zagreus looks at him a little longer, but when he volunteers nothing else, he doesn’t press. “Well, I suppose I’d best be going then. The surface awaits.” He grins at Patroclus. “Thank you for the aid as always, sir!”</p><p>Patroclus shakes his head, exasperated even as Achilles notices the corners of his mouth quirk up. “I’m the one who should be thanking you for giving me such a gift.”</p><p>Zagreus rocks slightly on his feet, his body eager to take off, Achilles knows. “You don’t have to. I wanted to give it.” Patroclus opens his mouth to reply but Zagreus points at him dramatically and declares, “I did! So you better enjoy it.”</p><p>Patroclus’s eyes crinkle faintly, a very subtle shift, but Achilles knows well the evidence of fondness on his beloved’s face now that he is looking for it.</p><p>Instead of voicing it, he groans. “Off with you.” He makes a lazy shooing motion with one hand. “Go torment our favorite King of Athens instead.”</p><p>“Oh yes, I’m sure Theseus will be <em> glad </em> to see me, as always.” Zagreus strides to the far door, unsealing it. “Till next time, then!” and then he’s gone.</p><p>There’s a heartbeat of undisturbed quiet, then-</p><p>“You love him too, don’t you?!” Achilles blurts.</p><p>Patroclus jolts, then stiffens into something guarded. He eyes Achilles warily, near warningly (which he chooses to ignore for the moment). “That’s quite something to declare all of a sudden,” he says, voice carefully neutral.</p><p>“But you do, don’t you?” Achilles retorts.</p><p>"And what makes you say that?"</p><p>“I know you well, my Patroclus, and that isn’t the sort of fondness you show for just anyone.”</p><p>Patroclus snorts and sits on the ground heavily. “And what of it?” he asks testily.</p><p>"It's-!" Achilles starts promptly, blinks, then shuts his mouth. He forces himself to let out a breath and slowly lowers himself to sit beside him. Trying for a more tactful tone of voice this time, “I'm approaching this poorly. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound accusatory,” he says, trying to defuse the tension he put in the air. “The thought just caught me off guard.” Saying that aloud makes Achilles pause. It <em> had </em> caught him off guard. How had he managed to go so long without noticing Patroclus’s desire for Zagreus?</p><p>“I just thought it worth addressing.” Achilles considers pointing out how brutally and abruptly Patroclus had confronted his own feelings for the prince, but he figures it would be in bad taste.</p><p>Achilles waits, but when Patroclus continues to just glare into the distance, he tries asking again, <em>“Do</em> you love Zagreus?”</p><p>Patroclus closes his eyes and his frustration seems to abandon him. “Oh, yes, I love him,” he breaths.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>Patroclus throws him a wide-eyed glance at that. Achilles isn’t used to seeing such undeniable shock on his face, especially shock caused by him. <em> “You’re </em> the one who’s actually his lover,” Patroclus shoots back. “Shouldn’t that much be obvious to you?”</p><p>“I’m well acquainted with the reasons <em> I </em> love him,” Achilles responds as calmly as he can, having noticed the undercurrent of intensity beneath Patroclus’s baffled tone. “But you aren’t me. I’m just curious what about Zagreus draws you to him.” Patroclus frowns. “If you’re willing to indulge me,” Achilles decides to add.</p><p>Patroclus stays silent long enough for Achilles to begin to think that he’s taking the out he offered, until he sighs with uncharacteristic drama. “What can I say about Zagreus, even? I find it hard to believe that any could help falling for him.”</p><p>Achilles lets that stand uncontested and, when he doesn’t immediately continue, he prompts, “What about him first caught your eye?”</p><p>Patroclus fixes his gaze across the glade, near, Achilles thinks, the place Zagreus likes to stand when he visits his dear Pat. His eyes are unfocused, considering, instead, something inside his own memories. “It was the way he held himself, I suppose. So full of restless energy. Full of life, unlike anything else I’d seen in this so-called paradise before then. Oh, the shades have more of their share of energy, using it to battle each other at every opportunity, but only out of a lack of anything better to do. Nothing here had the passion Zagreus did- and <em> does. </em> He was-” Patroclus blinks.</p><p>“He’s vibrant and vivacious. He caught my eye because he was <em> eye catching- </em> he sticks out like a sore thumb here. Elysium doesn’t have room for a chaotic, rabble-rousing young god, but it pleased me... when he lingered in my company anyway.”</p><p>He sighs again and seems to retreat from his recollections somewhat, leaning back and rolling his head between his shoulders.</p><p>“Is it really that strange a notion that the dead should long for something so full of life?” Patroclus muses.</p><p>And “No,” Achilles murmurs, “it’s not that strange a notion at all.”</p><p>His lover’s expression twists with an odd look that he wishes he could interpret. </p><p>“He’s a lot like a bird, I feel.” That makes Achilles cock his head, curiosity roused. “He’s full of energy that refuses to be pinned down,” Patroclus begins in answer to the question Achilles didn’t ask. “Never sitting still, always ready to take flight again at a moment’s notice, wherever he might want to go.” The corners of Pat’s mouth twitch up. “And he never runs out of things to say. They’re both flighty, but joyful and confident in the way they move through life.”</p><p>It’s an astute observation. Patroclus knows Zagreus better than Achilles gives him credit for; he never would have thought to draw such a comparison.</p><p>“I don’t think Zagreus knows what birds <em> are,” </em> Achilles comments idly, since he can’t think of anything more intelligent to say.</p><p>Patroclus’s expression again colors with surprise, but this time, it fades quickly enough. “I suppose he wouldn’t, all things considered. A shame. I imagine he’d really like them.”</p><p>Achilles lets the conversation lull, wondering where to go from here. Patroclus’s words are full of the fond affections Achilles has become so accustomed to after somehow finding himself the object of them so long ago. And yet... something feels different when Achilles thinks back on the interactions he’s witnessed between Patroclus and Zagreus.</p><p>Achilles has called Patroclus his soulmate before, but it’s more of a poetic title than a substantial one. For as familiar as he is with the ways of his lover, he doesn’t know Patroclus perfectly because such a thing is impossible. And although they came together with an ease born of deep understanding when they at last reunited, fitting so beautifully within each other’s arms, there <em> were </em> still things that had changed about them in their time apart. Things they have yet to relearn.</p><p>Achilles feels as if he’s stumbled upon one now.</p><p>Patroclus was careful, yet confident with his affections in life. His courtship was slow, a graceful dance around whoever was so lucky to have caught his eye, but always getting closer, undeniable in his advances. It is strange to think that, in all the times Achilles has seen Patroclus and Zagreus together, he’s only just now noticed his desire.</p><p>Achilles tilts his head back, considering the distant crags of rock capping off the world above his head. “How long have you loved him?” he prods gently, thinking he knows the answer but wanting to hear it anyway.</p><p>Patroclus sighs. “A long time, now,” he admits without a fight. “Or, at least, whatever feels like a long time down here. I don’t know exactly when it happened. Maybe from the first time I saw him holding onto that spearpoint I gave him. Maybe it was between the fourth and fifth bottles of nectar. I don’t think it matters, really.”</p><p>“I’m surprised you haven’t approached him yet,” Achilles nudges a little more. It occurs to him, right after he says it, that there’s a possibility that Patroclus <em> has </em> approached him and was rebuffed. However, he doesn’t imagine that that’s the case, given that he’s come to suspect that Zagreus may return his beloved’s feeling in this.</p><p>Patroclus shifts then, a subtle tensing of his muscles. There’s a warning in the change, as though Achilles has found a sore spot with his needling, but apparently he hasn’t crossed the line yet, because Patroclus still responds, “Like a bird, he’s beautiful to observe, but always out of reach. He’ll always flutter away, in time. They move on the wing and he is just the same. He goes to places I’ll never reach, pursuing things I’ll never be a part of. His world overlaps my own, but it is slight and I don’t belong in his.”</p><p>He finally looks at Achilles then, a challenging look. “I know what you’ll say, but I have no intentions to court him. I love him, yes, but I’m ill suited to him, I think. I have no grief with the way things are now and I think it’s best if they stay the same.”</p><p>“I wonder what Zagreus would say if he heard that?” Achilles feels the need to mention sharply.</p><p>Patroclus huffs, clearly having expected such an argument, but feeling no happier hearing it because of that. “Can’t you believe I’m content to love him from a distance?” he says with distinct irritation.</p><p>“Yes, I believe that,” Achilles says carefully, side-eyeing his love. “But I think you could be <em> happy </em> if you were closer.”</p><p>“What part of everything I just said did you not understand?” Patroclus snaps back, reminding Achilles that he’s not the only one who knows how to be stubborn.</p><p>Achilles takes a steadying breath. “I just think... you might not be seeing the situation in its entirety.” He pauses, choosing his next words carefully.</p><p>“Birds, for all their flightiness, need a place to land and rest. They roost and build nests and make a home for themselves down on earth with the rest of us. You can’t keep a bird from the sky, but you can give it a safe place to rest. It’s true, Zagreus is impossible to pin down and takes off when he pleases, but he’s well within reach when he settles. That’s where the two of us have found to share our love.” Achilles does not miss the way Patroclus shifts in place at that.</p><p>“Just consider that you could be a part of that if you want to. And <em> consider,” </em> Achilles continues quickly before Pat has a chance to brush him off, “that you <em> already are. </em> You’ve offered him company and security and he seeks you out in turn. You talk as if you’re not already a part of his life, and an <em> important </em> one, at that. He has a deep affection for you, or do I need to remind you of the ambrosia he’s just pressed into your hands?”</p><p>Patroclus just lifts a hand to rest his head in it heavily. Achilles sighs softly and says, “I won’t insist you try to court him if you truly don’t want to, I just ask that you don’t dismiss the idea out of hand. I think the attempt would be worth more than you seem to believe. You’ve told me several times now to ‘risk it all’-”</p><p>Patroclus clicks his tongue loudly and Achilles gets the feeling he expected this argument as well. “This is not the same as that. With the situation of your contract, there was little that could get worse and so much we could gain. Here... the way things are with Zagreus right now is valuable to me and I won’t risk throwing that all away for something so uncertain.”</p><p>“You’re right, it is very different,” Achilles allows. “That’s why I wasn’t going to tell you to risk it all; that’s the extreme. I merely intended to point out... Patroclus, you must risk <em> something </em> to discover what the world might offer you. The risk is the price that has to be paid for anything to change. That was always true in life, but... It feels different, <em> strange </em> even, but I believe it’s even more true here in the afterlife. The Underworld has a sort of stasis to it. And I haven’t spent nearly as much time in Elysium as you have, but I can feel how this place can make it so easy to forget that what we do can change things at all, but... That’s why I bring it up. Just so you can think on it again. What risks you might take are yours to decide, but I think they’re worth considering.”</p><p>“Perhaps...” Patroclus murmurs contemplatively, assuring Achilles that he will give his words true consideration. It’s as close as he will come to a concession right now, but it’s more than enough.</p><p>Patroclus makes no more comment and Achilles feels content to let the matter lay for now.</p><p>“The world might offer you a chance to have your hair braided with a few pretty Elysian flowers,” Achilles says after a pause. Patroclus gazes at him, looking tired, yet with a spark of humor in his eyes.</p><p>“Oh? And what risk do you imagine that might cost me?”</p><p>“Risking your energy to scoot over and sit in front of me?”</p><p>Patroclus smiles gently, <em> genuinely, </em> and Achilles melts at the sight. He pats the ground in front of him twice with his palms and Patroclus rearranges himself with a roll of his eyes that is nothing but loving. Achilles plucks the first pale little flower and places it behind his lover’s ear before gathering his hair behind him to begin.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ah yes, my titular bird metaphor has finally arrived</p><p>Also thank you so much for all the wonderful comments!! I've discovered that it's a bit challenging for me to reply to comments on these chapters (mostly since I'm so tempted to spoil what happens later!) so I'm so sorry if I seem strange or awkward! ToT  I hope I don't sound insincere because I appreciate all of them so much and your encouragement is lovely~ Thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. To Our Mutual Enjoyment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Patroclus thinks and then he acts and the former comes more naturally than the latter. Zagreus’s presence turns that around, but that isn’t always easy for the prince to give.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Patroclus is dead. He has no heart that needs to beat nor lungs that need to be filled nor any of the other flesh one needs to live. Despite this, his heart (for he doesn’t know what else to call this feeling) is alive. It thrums with vivid energy.</p><p>It doesn’t show on his face, though. Patroclus sits in his glade, alone for the moment. He sits with his elbow resting on his raised knee, still, silent, and gazing into the distance without truly seeing anything. For now, he lends his full focus to the thought of Zagreus.</p><p>He’s glad he’s had Achilles at his side once again, for <em> many </em> reasons, one of which is that pursuing this would feel unthinkable without the help he’s given. It’s a subtle thing, far flung from the impromptu wrestling Patroclus has taken to using when Achilles starts being morose, but it’s no less valuable.</p><p>It started the moment Patroclus saw him again, cresting the arch of the bridge, staring at him. Achilles was <em> there </em> and Patroclus rose to his feet. He stood without a thought. He hadn’t stood in so long, save for the one occasion Zagreus had needed him, but that was a fleeting, singular instance.</p><p>Whenever Achilles is there, he stands up. It is a simple thing because it <em> needs </em> to be a simple thing because it was the <em> first </em> thing. Patroclus doesn't think he could have managed anything more after so long of sparing every effort, so long of doing nothing, nothing.</p><p>Achilles casually encourages that simple effort and many more, making himself available to the little attempts Patroclus makes. The familiarity that comes with sharing them with Achilles eases him back into the habits he’d forgotten when left bereft of the conflicts of the surface and the demands of mortal flesh. This place of untrackable time and motionless air made it so easy to dismiss any reason to get up, waste energy, to <em> try. </em> For so long he’d just... stopped. Stopped trying.</p><p>It could have only been Achilles, one of the only things he could both never forget and never stop longing for, who could fully pull him back to the rhythms of life and love, the give and take. Even though Zagreus stumbled upon him first, starting all this, he’d rejected the encouragement of the young god’s enthusiasm at nearly every turn.</p><p>Patroclus supposes it makes a certain kind of sense, the cyclical nature things ended up taking on. Zagreus started by crashing in and demanding he at least consider the possibility of change, Achilles returned to him and helped him back to his feet, reminding him how he once was when they still lived, and now it’s back to Zagreus, and what to do about the piece of his heart he rushed in and claimed.</p><p>He turns it over in his mind, over and over and over. For as often as Patroclus has regarded his little corner of Elysium as a prison, it has always been perfect for this. Thinking. For such a long time, seemingly endlessly with how vague time feels down here, it was all he did. Up until the first time Zagreus approached him, breaking into his infinite pondering.</p><p>He considers, now, all the ways Zagreus showed his care and how he managed to invade his mind in a way he can’t rid himself of anymore. It had not been the first time someone had tried to converse with him in Elysium, though it had only been shades before then and a long time had passed since the last one. None of them, those souls interested in his feats and stories, had gone to such unusual lengths either.</p><p>He’d thought the first bottle of nectar was a fluke, so he gave the stranger Hector’s spear point so he wouldn’t be indebted and sent him on his way, presumably to more worthy recipients. But then he’d given another, then another, the stranger- now <em> his </em> stranger. ‘Between the fourth and fifth bottles of nectar’, he’d proposed to Achilles when he asked when he fell in love, more as an example than an answer, but there’s truth to it. Somewhere along the line, he thinks, while looking at his reflection in the golden shine, he saw in himself something that he <em> knew, </em> but insisted on ignoring.</p><p>Patroclus huffs and shakes his head. He’s already fallen for Zagreus, no helping that now, so no more point in musing over it. It’s how he might court him that needs his attention now. It’s been so long since he’s yearned to approach someone like this, but he wants to return the feelings Zagreus has given him.</p><p>Oh- well, now that’s a thought, isn’t it?</p><p>For the first time, Patroclus lifts himself from Elysium’s well worn cobblestones, takes up his spear, and goes looking for a fight.</p><p>He’s sparred with Achilles now and then since they were reunited, partially for old times sake, but more to brush up his skills in case Zagreus calls upon their aid, which he has on several occasions now.</p><p>Patroclus hadn’t hesitated to accept when Achilles proposed giving the prince Antos, because somewhere along the line, settling in him without him even realizing, Zagreus became one of the only things he would be willing to fight for once again. And yet, he’d still scorned the conflict as an ugly necessity at first.</p><p>But after the first few times he’d answered the pull into Zagreus’s battle, that tug tethered somewhere at the base of his sternum, his perspective shifted. Whenever Zagreus’s eye landed on him in those moments, even when he was scrambling away from imminent death, he <em> beamed. </em> Little dimples appeared as the smile spread across his face and Patroclus thanked the gods that the nature of his summon made him invulnerable because few things were more distracting.</p><p>After that, Patroclus decided that skewering the prince’s foes with his spear is a more than reasonable price for that smile.</p><p>That leaves Patroclus far less rusty than he’d been in the depths of his despondency, although, his lack of practice likely would have done nothing to spare any shades had he decided to seek them out then.</p><p>He’s aware that it’s easy to forget given his partnership with a famously powerful demigod, but Patroclus is a force to be reckoned with.</p><p>For the first time, he decides to embrace what seems to be the prevailing mentality in the Underworld of no harm, no fowl. This is not war like he used to know and it doesn’t have to be. If the other souls in Elysium wish to put their time and energy into martial feats, Patroclus doesn’t have to feel guilty about testing their mettle.</p><p>Elysium never wants for combative souls, and although they seem shocked to find him receptive to their challenges, they don’t hesitate to throw themselves at him.</p><p>He thinks he finally understands then, just slightly, why these undead warriors spend so much time fighting one another. Patroclus could never spend the rest of eternity like this, but, for the moment, he finds himself rather <em> enjoying </em> the combat. It’s familiar yet refreshing to let the sweep of his spear carry him through his opponents, digging his toes into the grass as he side steps a thrust here, parries a slice there. The forms of shades shatter beneath his spear point and they flee when he drives them away from their fallen weapons.</p><p>And if Patroclus motivates himself with the thought that many of them must have tried to kill Zagreus as he pushed to reach the surface, well, they don’t have to know.</p><p>He fights his way through a number of encounters, although he doesn’t feel as impatient at the delay as he thought he would. In due time, a shade yields the golden gleam of nectar as a reward for his victory and he takes it with satisfaction. He decides to stop there- he might compete for more if the first offering goes well enough- and meanders back to his glade.</p><p>Patroclus doesn’t know whether to thank the Fates or curse them when he finds Zagreus already there, hovering around his usual spot on the river bank, looking lost.</p><p>“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so uncertain, stranger.”</p><p>The prince jolts and turns around to face him, his form immediately relaxing as he smiles widely at him. “Happy to see you well, sir! I never thought I’d see your glade empty before. I thought at first you might have stolen away somewhere with Achilles, but then I remembered his shift had just started when I left. I admit, I was getting a bit worried.” Zagreus tilts his head and eyes him intensely, asking after his wellbeing as overtly as possible short of just saying it aloud.</p><p>“There’s no need for that,” Patroclus assures him, warmed by Zagreus’s concern. “I was just indulging the other shades in the only thing that seems to pass as entertainment here in Elysium," he informs him as he makes his way across the bridge to Zagreus’s side.</p><p>"Wha- you mean <em> fighting? </em> Really?” Zagreus eyes him incredulously until he notices the bottle in his hand and brightens. "You know, if you ever want some nectar, all you have to do is ask me. I have plenty. It’d be yours in a heartbeat."</p><p>Patroclus sniffs disdainfully as he sets aside his spear. "I'm not so desperate for the stuff to go begging my stranger for it <em> or </em> to go fighting for it," he declares, almost stuttering because he intends to say <em> a </em> stranger, but his mind has so long since switched to seeing him as <em> his </em> stranger that it slips out anyway. Well, no taking the words back now.</p><p>He allows himself only the briefest hesitations before he extends the bottle to Zagreus and tells him, "It's a gift."</p><p>Zagreus looks down at the bottle, up at Patroclus, and back at the bottle again so fast it’s almost comical. “For me?” Zagreus asks with utter shock, looking up once again as he points at himself for good measure.</p><p>“Yes,” he states, shaking the bottle the prince has not yet taken at him. “And this time, I’m the one insisting that you accept.”</p><p>He takes the nectar then, still looking just as stunned. The silence drags for a few moments as Zagreus stares at the round bottle between his palms almost uncomprehending. “I hope I haven’t overstepped,” Patroclus says cautiously.</p><p>That seems to bring him out of whatever daze he fell in, and he shakes his head lightly. “Nothing like that, not at all! I just can’t remember the last time anyone gave me nectar.”</p><p>The idea of that rubs Patroclus the wrong way. “More’s the pity. I can think of few more worthy of receiving it. I figured you would have a great deal of it, given how generous you’ve been with it yourself. I thought it was something of a tradition in your house for people to give nectar.”</p><p>“Well, only if and when they want to, though.” Zagreus looks up then, though his eyes are crinkled shut by his smile. He rubs at the back of his neck and a pretty flush colors his cheeks deeply. “It feels very nice to get some from you, sir!”</p><p>It takes a great deal of willpower for Patroclus not to take his face in his hands and pull him into a kiss then and there.</p><p>Zagreus twists the bottle between his palms. “You know, I think I realize a little bit now why people usually say they feel guilty when I give them one of these. I feel a touch bad that I don’t have anything for you in return.”</p><p>“You don’t need to return anything; the nectar is a gift. Though, I wouldn’t refuse if you wanted to give me a little more time in your company.”</p><p>Patroclus can’t help a flush of satisfied pride when that idea seems to please the prince a great deal.</p><p>“Would you like to share it with me then?” Zagreus asks, grinning, lifting the nectar.</p><p>Patroclus crosses his arms. “I got that for you to enjoy, you know.”</p><p>"Enjoy? Well, that’s perfect, because a full bottle of nectar drunk alone is nowhere near as enjoyable as half a bottle shared with good company."</p><p>Patroclus clicks his tongue and scowls at him. “Cheeky brat, catching me on a technicality. Very well then, sit with me and we can share a drink.” Zagreus quickly sits himself down cross legged, shifting around until he apparently feels comfortable. Patroclus lowers himself slower, with more grace born of experience hiding his eagerness.</p><p>Zagreus unstoppers the bottle and lifts it in toast. “To our mutual enjoyment, then!” Patroclus snorts as the prince drinks first.</p><p>Zagreus passes him the bottle, warm from his hand. Patroclus drinks more sparingly than he does with his own nectar, though the taste blooms across his tongue, as brilliant as ever.</p><p>He passes it back and asks the prince, “How fares your luck on this escape attempt?” He looks uninjured, but Patroclus has come to realize that that’s not a particularly reliable indicator.</p><p>Zagreus grins brightly. “Really well, actually! This has been a good one. I’ve gotten lucky with the boons the gods happened to give me this time; they compliment each other well.”</p><p>“Do they know yet why you’re actually trying to escape?” Zagreus has mentioned and Achilles later elaborated on the situation with the Queen of the Underworld and the precarious misconception of the Olympians. Patroclus doesn’t envy him in the slightest for being part of a mess as volatile as that one.</p><p>Zagreus wrinkles his nose like he’s thinking along the same lines. “Erm, no, afraid they don’t. They still think I’m trying to make it to Olympus. I am working on it, though!” he declares. “I’m working on it!”</p><p>“I don’t doubt it. For what it’s worth, I have faith you’ll manage to work this out,” Patroclus says as if he’s not suggesting the impossible by appeasing so many fickle gods. But Zagreus has already managed something he’d considered impossible by reuniting him with his Achilles, so why not this?</p><p>“It’s still such a strange thought,” Patroclus muses, “that there’s <em> any </em> cause that the Olympians would unite to support. To me it always seemed like, if you were loved by one god, that meant some other god wanted you dead. But then again,” he looks over Zagreus, “for anyone to be likeable enough to win their favor like that, it doesn’t surprise me in the slightest that it’s you.”</p><p>Zagreus laughs and ruffles his hair self consciously. “You flatter me, sir.”</p><p>Patroclus hums. “I don’t think I do.” He pauses to drink again when the nectar finds its way back to him. “Which gods are your patrons this time?”</p><p>The prince lights up. “Demeter, for one. The effect her blessing has on my bloodstones is one of the most useful.” Patroclus doesn’t really know what he means by that, but he doesn’t interrupt. “Artemis is lending her support as well, and she makes it that much more powerful. Dealing with multiple foes at once is always a concern of mine, and they are making it quite simple this time around.”</p><p>At Patroclus's prompting, Zagreus goes into greater detail about the strategies he employs, which he explains enthusiastically. He has only seen him fight in short moments when the prince called on Antos. Already he’s noticed the numerous weapons Zagreus regularly switches between, but he’s surprised to hear just how widely the blessings of the gods vary as well. Zagreus’s excellent adaptability in combat, a valuable and hard won skill, impresses him.</p><p>When Zagreus indulges him and stands up to show off the red flare of a strike blessed by Ares, he sees that he carries Achilles’ spear. “Attached to <em> that </em> weapon, are you stranger? I’m sure Achilles would be <em> humbled </em> to find out,” he teases.</p><p>Zagreus gives the spear an idle flourish. “I wouldn’t say <em> attached, </em> but I can’t deny that it’s become my favorite.” Patroclus snorts loudly at him. Zagreus fixes him with a good natured scowl and asks dramatically, “Listen, can you really hold it against me?” Patroclus leans back on one arm languidly and hums noncommittally with a wicked smirk.</p><p>Zagreus lets the spear vanish to who knows where and sits once more. After another sip of nectar, he adds, “Really, though, I wasn’t surprised by it. Achilles gave me my combat training. Doesn’t it make sense that I would end up well suited to the weapon he was accustomed to fighting with?”</p><p>“Perfect sense,” Patroclus concedes, “you have me there. Achilles learned to fight with several weapons, but the spear was always his favorite. I remember how he took to it right away when we started training as boys.”</p><p>For a few moments, Zagreus considers this quietly. “Was it hard training on the surface? I know people say that it’s not always as cold up there as it is now, but I feel like- it sounds like it’s less stable up there than down here?” His face scrunches up. “Maybe I’m not making sense.”</p><p>“Well,” he starts thoughtfully, “the weather certainly changed a lot, though it followed patterns, more or less. Training in the winter- ah, when it was cold and snowy like you’ve seen it- was never fun. Though, if there was enough snow or ice we sometimes got a break. What I really loathed was training during the summer. It was so exhausting when the sun was that hot and intense.”</p><p>“The sun?” Zagreus parrots in disbelief. “Huh. It’s never been hot when I’ve seen it before.”</p><p>“It varies.”</p><p>Zagreus tilts his head back contemplatively. “You know, I’m more than glad I managed to find my mother and then even managed to convince her to come back home after I decided to try and reach the surface. But still, I can’t help but feel a bit disappointed that I can’t survive long up there. The surface sounds so vast and I know so little about it, and it’s sad to know I’ll probably never see any more of it.”</p><p>It weighs on Patroclus to hear his struggles and to have nothing he can do. Although, Zagreus doesn’t sound nearly as bitter as he could about such a cruel turn of the Fates and he admires him for it. “Perhaps I can satisfy some of your curiosity, at least," Patroclus offers. "Is there anything you want to know about the surface?”</p><p>“You really would? I’d love that! Things sound so different up there- ah, I don’t even know what to ask...”</p><p>Patroclus decides to tell him about animals, thinking he could get around to explaining birds to him, but the conversation immediately gets derailed when he mentions horses first. Zagreus is astonished to find out that the chariots on the surface don’t move independently like the ones down here. He figures it’s a perfectly reasonable assumption for the prince to make given his experiences, but it’s so estranged from Patroclus’s view of the world that he hardly knows how to explain it.</p><p>“Then how big are horses?” he asks intently.</p><p>“Oh...” He returns the nectar as he rises to his feet and levels a hand at about the right height. “Around five and a half feet at the shoulder?” Patroclus estimates.</p><p><em> “Shoulder?” </em> Zagreus shakes his head rapidly. “Wait, I’m confused.”</p><p>“Ah, not the same as our shoulders. It’s not like they stand up like we do.” He grimaces and tries to shove aside the thought of that possibility. He hadn’t thought it could be so hard to describe an animal he’d seen thousands of times. “They stand on four legs.”</p><p>“Like a dog?” Zagreus suggests hesitantly.</p><p>“Yes,” he allows, and sits again, “they have roughly the same body shape as a dog, but quite a bit bigger than that.”</p><p>Zagreus jolts at that, eyes wide and shocked. “Then how big did the chariots have to be?” he demands.</p><p>Patroclus stares at him uncomprehendingly for several moments before he abruptly says, “Wait, no- no, not bigger than <em> that </em> dog, I-” He can’t help but break off in a laugh, baffled and amused by the conversation and deeply fond of how refreshing it is. How refreshing <em> he </em> is.</p><p>“I meant that horses are bigger than the dogs on the surface. I haven’t seen your Cerberus before, but I feel safe assuming he’s much bigger than a horse.”</p><p>Zagreus’s brows furrow deeply in confusion. “You mean that dogs on the surface are a lot smaller?”</p><p>“For a certainty.”</p><p>“That’s- kind of a shame,” he comments distractedly.</p><p>“Ah, less heads too.”</p><p>He almost feels bad for mentioning it with how devastated Zagreus looks at that. “What?! How many do they have?”</p><p>“Just one head,” Patroclus laughs.</p><p>“Where did the rest go?!”</p><p>“They only ever have the one, I’m afraid!”</p><p><em> “That’s so sad,” </em> Zagreus says with the utmost sincerity and Patroclus realizes he can’t bring the smile off his face, even when his muscles twinge from how out of practice he is at it. Zagreus’s energy and enthusiasm are too infectious to be denied, warming him to the bone, settling there.</p><p>For all his hesitation and uncertainty and self deprecating habits, Patroclus finds himself desperately praying that Achilles is right in this. He knows now, what it feels like to have Zagreus within reach, to be with him when he folds his wings and lands. From so far down that he’d thought them lost, vibrancy and vitality rise through him in Zagreus’s presence and oh, did they ever feel this good even when he was <em> alive? </em></p><p>He wants him. He can’t remember what excuses he gave Achilles for not courting him, can’t imagine what they might have been.</p><p>Achilles, damn him, would be insufferably smug to hear it, but Patroclus was wrong. This is worth the risk. He would risk so much to have this again.</p><p>“I suppose it <em> would </em> be more exciting if every dog had three heads.”</p><p>The conversation calms somewhat as Zagreus meanders through a story about Cerberus and his failed attempts to intrigue him with toys. Lacking anything to contribute, Patroclus finds himself watching Zagreus acutely during this rare opportunity to see him sitting. He eyes the lines of his muscles, at rest for once. He follows the line of his throat to his mouth when he tilts his head back to drink the last of the nectar. His lips hug the rim of the bottle alluringly and Patroclus finds himself committing every detail to memory.</p><p>“Patroclus?” Zagreus has lowered the bottle and noticed his staring. He tilts his head at him inquisitively.</p><p>The faint ghost of a shiver passes through his back at the sound of his name, so rare from the prince’s mouth. Although, still more common than Patroclus saying <em> his </em> name, he realizes. He resolves to amend that.</p><p>Immediately.</p><p>“Zagreus,” he drawls in return, voice pitched low and even. He twitches in response, back straightening and eyes widening. His eyes flit over his form for a quick moment and he fiddles with the bottle with distracted energy.</p><p>“What are you thinking?” Patroclus asks slyly, though from the slight discomfort the passes over Zagreus’s expression, he guesses the prince thinks it might be an accusation.</p><p>“I don’t want to be presumptuous, sir.”</p><p>“It’s not presumptuous if I asked,” he assures him. “Though, what exactly did you feel you were presuming? I’m <em> curious.” </em></p><p>Zagreus shifts in place, but to Patroclus’s pleasant surprise, he’s bold enough to admit, “You just... seem to be looking at me with a certain amount of interest. But-” He stops.</p><p>“But?”</p><p>“But I thought that might just be the way you look at everyone.”</p><p>“Everyone, hm?” Patroclus repeats, near purring, making no effort to keep the desire out of his voice now. “Have you considered, stranger, that the only other person you’ve seen me look at is Achilles?”</p><p>Zagreus blinks and his eyes widen as he seems to realize the implications of that statement. Patroclus, however, doesn’t wait for his reply before leaning into his space.</p><p>“May I kiss you?”</p><p>“Yes,” Zagreus gasps, the word still trailing from his lips for Patroclus to feel when he closes the distance between them.</p><p>He gently cradles Zagreus’s jaw with one hand, although he tilts his head to meet him without it. He kisses him chastley at first, but unyieldingly. He relishes the way Zagreus returns the firm pressure. Patroclus shifts his lips, hinting at the way he intends to kiss Zagreus in due time. He leaves a single, slight lick on Zagreus’s lower lip just before pulling away, only once he is ready and no sooner, so he can see the prince’s face properly.</p><p>His breath hitches faintly at the sight.</p><p>Zagreus looks flustered, but less so than he would have anticipated. Even as his cheeks show their heat, his eyes gleam with bold desire. Patroclus had thought he might be coy and unsure in face of his rather abrupt advances, but it lures him in to see that he’s not. His want roots itself even deeper inside him when he sees it reflected so confidently in Zagreus's gaze.</p><p>When Patroclus pulls him back in, Zagreus brushes past his cloak to grip at his biceps. He hears the ting of the empty nectar bottle as it hits the cobblestones.</p><p>“I’ll win more for you,” Patroclus mumbles into his mouth and Zagreus whines.</p><p>They swap kisses of mounting passion but Patroclus only indulges in one deeper, open mouth kiss before breaking them apart. That can come later. He has something else in mind.</p><p>He sets a kiss at the corner of Zagreus’s mouth, the first of so many he begins to pepper over his cheekbone, down the side of his face, across his jaw. Zagreus tilts his head generously to give him room to work, a faint, fluttery laugh escaping him.</p><p>It’d been so long since he took a new lover that he forgot how much he loves this part, but oh, he <em> does. </em> With devoted, unwavering precision, he begins to slowly map Zagreus beneath the press of his lips and the trail of his fingertips. He maps out not only the lines of his skin and the planes of his muscles, though he certainly commits those to memory with dedication, but also each and every reaction his touch garners.</p><p>He lingers nowhere, affording each place the same, glancing attention, methodical above all else in this.</p><p>Zagreus sighs when he kisses his temple. He gasps when he mouths at the spot behind his ear.</p><p>He finds he can barely wait to learn Zagereus, piece by piece, from head to toe, discovering each quirk that makes him tick and all the things that bring him pleasure. He wants to know everything that shapes this lovely godling into who he is and he has every intention to sate that curiosity.</p><p>Relishing in the startled noise it gets him, Patroclus slides his arms around his back, hands on his shoulder blades, and pulls him into his lap. The position lifts Zagreus higher and he uses that to kiss the underside of his jaw and he hears his breath hitch loudly. When he inches downward he squirms.</p><p>When Patroclus decides to suck deeply at his pulse, thunderous and alive, Zagreus squawks and twists away with a shiver. “Wait- ah-!”</p><p>He pulls back and looks at him to find him wide eyed and red faced, though he doesn’t seem upset. He subconsciously lifts his shoulder in towards the spot Patroclus just abandoned.</p><p>“Ahh, my neck is kind of oversensitive,” Zagreus informs him rather breathlessly. “It’s just, your beard- feels a little too much there.”</p><p>“Mm, duly noted, stranger,” Patroclus rumbles, blinking up at him languidly. “I’m sure I shall find other places to devote my attention to, if you’re receptive.”</p><p>“Oh- without a doubt.” Zagreus rolls his head and relaxes a bit. When Patroclus presses his lips beneath his collarbone, he’s satisfied to see him sigh instead of jolt.</p><p>Zagreus himself has not been idle while Patroclus strayed out of range of his own kisses. His hands roamed his arms extensively, following the contours of his muscles with surprising delicacy. He brushed over his torso, lifting his hands up the sides of his cuirass, slipping up to the back of his shoulders where he kneaded his muscles lightly. </p><p>Now the prince lowers his hands to his waist, never pulling away from his form as he does, where he settles with a steady grip, not loose by any means, but in no way unpleasantly tight. Part of Patroclus wishes his chest was bare so he could better feel the idle patterns Zagreus caresses into him with his fingers.</p><p>“You can be quite hard to read, you know,” Zagreus says above him and Patroclus peers up at him through his lashes. The prince meets his gaze with an intensity only he could make casual, passionate in everything he does to the point of familiarity. “I had no idea you returned my feelings.”</p><p>Patroclus plants a final kiss on his shoulder, setting aside his surveying for the time. Such a task is best savored during uncounted heartbeats over many encounters anyway. “I’m afraid I refused to pursue anything for some time. I suppose you assumed I had no interest.” The thought rankles him. It feels clumsy, the way he went from his presented apathy to such an abrupt solicitation, but more than that, it feels unlike him.</p><p>He would have done this far slower, more elegantly, when he was alive. He wishes now that he had started this much earlier, had given himself the time to let this flow naturally instead of keeping it behind a flood gate to sweep him away when he opened it at last. Part of him feels as though he’s cheated Zagreus out of a more gratifying courtship that he certainly deserves.</p><p>“I didn’t, actually,” Zagreus surprises him by answering. “You’ve been hard enough to read that I didn’t even feel safe assuming <em> that. </em> I really didn’t know what you felt for me, though I’m beyond pleased to find out it’s quite affectionate. Although... why did you refuse to approach me about it before now?” Zagreus twitches and then hastens to add, “If it’s not too intrusive to ask, that is.”</p><p>“It was easier.” Zagreus blinks at him in surprise. “It’s not the answer I would have given anyone, including myself, at the time, but with the benefit of hindsight, that’s all there was to it.” Patroclus looks away to a nondescript spot on the ground, focusing on his thoughts instead of Zagreus and his distracting beauty.</p><p>“I think my original impulse, so very long ago now, was to avoid doing things that could end up hurting me. But after all that happened, I was overcautious and avoided nearly <em> everything </em> under that excuse. It changed, over time, from a protective instinct to a habit of simply avoiding doing anything at all. I told myself I was better off that way, though, in truth, I’d long since abandoned any consideration of what opportunities might actually leave me better off.”</p><p>Zagreus makes a quiet, tender sound of concern and Patroclus looks back to him. His mismatched eyes scan him intently and he shifts a hand to intertwine with his own.</p><p>Patroclus chuckles even as he squeezes his hand acceptingly. “What are you surprised about? I’m surprised you couldn’t taste the bitterness on my tongue for how cynical I’ve been.”</p><p>“That isn’t funny,” Zagreus informs him, though Patroclus smiles at the indignant look on his face anyway. Indignant on his behalf, oh, how precious he is.</p><p>“You’ve approached me <em>now,”</em> he continues, “and your kisses taste quite sweet and I, for one, am much better off for both those things.”</p><p>“I’m pleased to hear it,” Patroclus sighs. “I believe I feel quite the same.” His hand drifts up and he thinks for the briefest moment to rest his fingers over where his heart once was but changes course to brush the back of his knuckles over the edge of Zagreus’s jaw instead.</p><p>“I’m pleased that you would choose to spend time with me when so many other things preoccupy your time.”</p><p>Zagreus jolts a little at that, looking surprised. He peers over his shoulder to the far door and says, “Ah, I actually forgot about this escape attempt completely.” He stirs slightly in his lap as if to rise, only to settle again and look back at Patroclus a touch awkwardly.</p><p>Pat laughs faintly. “I should let you get back to it, I’ve stolen more than enough of your time today- or tonight.”</p><p>Zagreus rolls his weight back and Patroclus thinks his legs might have ached had he still properly had muscles. “You didn’t steal anything from me; I truly enjoyed talking with you and I quite a bit more than enjoyed everything else- I wanted to be here.”</p><p>“Hmm. I suppose you did, though I believe I’m stealing from you <em> now. </em> You should keep going if you want. Make it to the surface for me. Think of more questions you have and I shall do my best to answer them the next time you come around.”</p><p>Zagreus smiles oh so fondly at him. "I will. I hope I don't run into Lord Hermes during the rest of this run, I think he’d be appalled at how long a break I took this time around.” Patroclus eyes the edges of his chiton and the body beneath it as he rises to his feet fluidly.</p><p>“I think you should be wary of how much approval you earn from Lord Hermes and what that says about you. I doubt his habits are the best to emulate.”</p><p>Zagreus frowns faintly and Patroclus wonders if Hermes sheds feathers from his winged feet when he races through the world just as Zagreus trails sparks from his own. “I’m afraid I’ve earned quite a bit of his approval already.”</p><p>“Well, I think it could serve you well in some places and rather poorly in others.” Patroclus allows himself a grin then. “Though don’t earn me the ire of a god by telling him I said that.”</p><p>Crooked and lovely, Zagreus smiles in return. “Never. Though I think it will serve me very well in how quickly I can return to you.” He thinks the God of Swiftness would have been proud of the quick peck Zagreus plants on his lips but it tastes sweet indeed and Patroclus can’t bring himself to complain. It seems to leave them both a little breathless despite its brevity.</p><p>“Soon, then,” Zagreus declares before at last dashing away and breaking the seal of the door he favors and vanishing once more.</p><p>Patroclus leans in the direction of the kiss that just fled his lips and shifts to brace his arm against the ground and only then does he realizes that his body means to stand.</p><p>He stops.</p><p>Pauses.</p><p>He drops his weight back to the familiar stones. He doesn’t have anywhere to go.</p><p>Patroclus huffs and blinks, the giddy, vibrant warmth of Zagreus’s company abandoning him abruptly, leaving him feeling as if he’d been yanked from warm waters into cool winds, shivering and uncomfortable at the sudden reminder of the feeling of earth under his feet and air over his skin.</p><p>He scowls at nothing, except perhaps at the energy that makes his fingers twitch aimlessly, at the urge to do something when he has nothing to do.</p><p>Impatience is a feeling he didn’t realize he’d forgotten.</p><p>Patroclus unfolds his legs to splay in front of him and lays out on his back with his palms pressed downwards against the ground. He sighs heavily and tries to resign himself to the reality of waiting for whoever will return to him next (his money is on Achilles).</p><p>He’d managed well enough when his beloved had needed to leave after they reunited, bound still to the duties of a pact signed with their ruling god. It isn’t quite so aggravating to be forced to wait on something familiar and well established, doesn’t sit so rough under his skin as he counts the moments of a length of time he has no control over. Waiting on something novel and new, however-</p><p>Patroclus sighs again and tries to will his body to relax. This will take some adjusting to.</p><p>He wins his wager with himself when Achilles comes to him next, all Zagreus’s promises of a speed to rival Hermes aside. His golden hair spills over his shoulders when he peers down from above him. The silver band restrains it well enough for Patroclus to see him lift an eyebrow.</p><p>Patroclus lifts a hand without comment and grunts when Achilles pulls him to his feet.</p><p>As he suspected, the very poorly stifled grin he gets from Achilles when he relates his encounter with Zagreus is intolerable. He primly informs his beloved to be grateful that the Lethe is such a dangerous river, otherwise he would find himself thrown into it.</p><p>And Patroclus finds himself looking into the river more and more now, often pondering how far down the waters truly flow, obscured by the mist rising to the banks. Zagreus comes back as he promised and has started fishing in his glade far more often as he keeps Patroclus company. He recognizes it as a way to preoccupy his hands quickly enough.</p><p>Zagreus will sit near the bank and Pat will press his chest against his back and hook his chin over his shoulder and they will both watch the bobber as they talk.</p><p>Patroclus once observed an unspoken, but fervent rule to look at the Lethe as little as possible, difficult as it was. The river flows behind his customary spot but also in front of it, meandering endlessly through Elysium. Nevertheless, Patroclus had refused to devote the slightest attention to it, to even acknowledge the possibility of drinking from its silent flow.</p><p>Even when it hurts most, perhaps <em> especially </em> when it hurts most, he is <em> Patroclus </em> and he refuses to become some formless, meaningless shadow of himself. He had refused indulging even the briefest attention to the Lethe lest he numb himself to the idea of its powers over time and convince himself that he would ever be willing to pay the expense of <em> who he is </em> to rid himself of his hurt.</p><p>Now the thought of who he is and the past that formed him isn’t nearly as painful anymore and his days or nights aren’t so desolate and empty and the Lethe doesn’t weigh as harsh and oppressive when his prince fishes chlams from its depths.</p><p>Although, he thinks he must be improving because he sees less chlams and charps and more seamares as of late.</p><p>Patroclus decides to test his skill sometimes by kissing behind his ear just as the bobber dips to see if he can still reel up anything. The first time, he drops the fishing pole entirely and barely manages to pin it down before whatever elusive creature makes away with it.</p><p>Patroclus takes the rod from his hands and tosses it aside, pulling Zagreus in when he turns to face him. He sighs in pleasure and shifts accommodatingly when he discovers Zagreus’s interest in returning the attention he’d lavished on him that first time, unpinning his cloak after a time to expand his exploration.</p><p>Neither the fish nor Patroclus can keep Zagreus around long enough to satisfy him, though, he finds time after time. The prince comes with all his love and vibrancy and energy and Patroclus relishes in it for every uncounted moment he has. Whenever he slips from his grasp, though, Patroclus is left <em> wanting. </em></p><p>Zagreus flutters away and Patroclus's palms itch with the desire to feel him still. His muscles tense with the urge to chase after him, to follow and support his endless upwards journeys with more than just a single blow when he's called upon. On occasion, he takes the chance to fight for more nectar, but he doesn't usually want to seek such conflict. What he wants has flown out of reach and he must wait until the Fates decide to bring him back.</p><p>Patroclus hopes for a while that Zagreus will stay longer when Achilles is there as well, lured by the presence of both his lovers together. He quickly realizes that, more often than not, the addition of Achilles seems to have the opposite effect. Zagreus will stay with the pair of them about as long as he did before, never dismissive, always devoting time to a conversation, but gone before much longer.</p><p>It never feels malicious, he doesn’t think Zagreus has it in him to do such a thing maliciously, but it bothers him, bothers him more than it seems to bother Achilles, though Patroclus can’t truly say why.</p><p>“Good, everything considered,” Achilles tells him when he asks how things have been between the pair of then while at the house. “He’s much more receptive to spending time there when I propose it, he’s improved a lot with that. And the time we get to spend together is lovely as ever- well, more so, now, if I’m honest, now that I’ve been learning to appreciate it more.”</p><p>“I’m sensing there will be a ‘but’ following that.”</p><p>Achilles sighs and fiddles with his spear idly. “Well, not a major one, but yes. It’s not been perfect. Zagreus only stays <em> when </em> I propose it. I don’t think that initiating such things comes naturally to him. Rather- Mm. I think I’m muddying the water a bit.”</p><p>He takes a breath and starts over. “He initiates things between us and for our relationship, but he never takes time to <em> rest </em> when I haven’t asked him to. Zagreus has never avoided reaching out to people and spending time with them, but it’s always for some purpose. Not to say he always has a self serving interest or anything, more often than not he just wants to care for someone and make them feel better, but I don’t think he knows he can set aside time for the purpose of <em>his own</em> wellbeing.</p><p>“I suggested, at first, that I help him get more rest because I thought it’d be a better way to get him to accept the importance of it, and I think it has been, but in the end, that’s not enough. He needs a better idea of how to care for himself in the ways he’s been neglecting before now. I always want to give what support I can, but I think it’ll be better for him if he can rely on himself first and foremost for his own wellbeing.”</p><p>Patroclus studies him intently. “And has he been working on it?”</p><p>“Well, we only really talked about it recently-” Achilles admits, “I only really <em> recognized </em> it recently. He’s still grappling with it. I wish he would spend more time with us <em> here, </em> I’d hoped he might feel a bit less out of place here, but I don’t know how to convince him. I’m glad to know that he at least stays longer when it’s just the two of you though.”</p><p>Patroclus blinks. Just the two of them. That’s the thing though. His gaze is unfocused as he at length starts to set his unruly feelings in the beginnings of a form he understands.</p><p>Achilles tilts his head in concern. “Pat? Has something been going wrong with that?”</p><p>Patroclus shifts his weight to acknowledge Achilles’ words. “Hm. No, nothing wrong, just a thought about it.”</p><p>He refocuses when Achilles smiles, slight and sweet. “Ask him about it, then,” he advises. “Zagreus is a good listener.”</p><p>Strange to think that not so long ago he would have dismissed such a thought, and that, for all his time spent thinking, he never believed any one of those thoughts made any difference. But he thinks of the present now, and not just the past, and Zagreus is indeed a good and gracious listener.</p><p>“I have a question for you, stranger.” Zagreus nods, meeting his eye intensely, devoting to him the full measure of his attention. “Why do you consistently spend less time in my glade when Achilles is also here as opposed to when I am alone?”</p><p>Zagreus blinks, his countenance betraying a certain degree of surprise, then frowns in consideration. “I... It’s not something I’d given much thought to before. I... I suppose perhaps I thought I shouldn’t interrupt your time together after I finally amended Achilles’ contract, or...” he trails off, expression uncertain.</p><p>Patroclus suspects that Zagreus might have thought such a thing before any of the romantic development between the three of them, but neither of them seem to believe that’s the case anymore.</p><p>“May I make a guess, Zagreus?” The prince looks at him with caution but respectful, tender trust and nods once again.</p><p>Patroclus pauses one beat and steadies himself. “I believe that when you see Achilles with me, you feel that your presence here isn’t necessary and that you’d rather leave, and when I am alone, you only stay longer than you normally do because you feel <em> obligated </em> to give me your company.”</p><p>Lips parted, Zagreus’s features transform with shock and devastation and Patroclus knows then with a certainty that his suspicion landed much closer to the truth than either of them want.</p><p>“I- I don’t mean- I don’t want to act like the time I spend with you isn’t valuable, it <em> is, </em> it’s so important to me-!” Hands trembling, the prince digs his thumbs into the tense clench of his fingers over his palms.</p><p>He rushes out, “I don’t want you to think I see this as a burden, sir, that can’t be further from the truth! It’s not that I feel an obligation to be here, <em> or- </em> I think- it’s just-” Zagreus’s voice closes around his words, wild eyed with desperation and fear. Patroclus doesn’t hesitate to run a soothing hand through the tangled hair of his stranger who looks perilously, heartbreakingly close to tears.</p><p>“Relax, dear Zagreus,” Patroclus croons sadly, pressing a kiss to his brow only to feel it crease further under the touch. “I’m not putting you on trial for some crime, waiting for the chance to condemn you. You don’t have to rush. I’m not going to cut you off or drive you away if you don’t articulate yourself within some arbitrary amount of time. I <em> want </em> to listen and I will. Take your time; I don’t mind. We will work on it.”</p><p>Zagreus’s lip trembles until he fixes his teeth in it harshly, staring a hole into him like he barely understands, and Patroclus hates the realization that very few have been willing to listen to his stranger when he’s struggled in the past.</p><p>A lengthy pause passes before Zagreus speaks again but Patroclus doesn’t mind the quiet. His voice is not quite even when he eventually says, “I hadn’t thought about what you’ve said before, not enough; I’ve been avoiding it, I think. I’ve been selfish and hurtful and-” his inhale shudders- “I think you’re right and that I... When I see Achilles here I feel like I can leave because I feel I don’t have to worry about you and it feels vile to admit it because it’s a <em> vile </em> thing to do. <em> Gods- </em> I’m <em> sorry.” </em></p><p>Patroclus shakes his head tiredly. “You don’t have to berate yourself, I just wanted to hear your honest feelings.” Zagreus makes a tiny whimper like a dog who’s had his tail trod on, a dog <em> well used </em> to having his tail trod on. Part of Patroclus feels tempted to whine in reply. There’s no elegant way to do this.</p><p>“It’s not that I would rather leave, not <em> exactly, </em> but rather- I think half of me wants to and half of me doesn’t,” Zagreus continues with an upset glower and digs his toes into the shallow Elysium soil. “My heart would rather stay here, with you, talking the days or nights away together. But my body always... it wants to <em> leave. </em> When I stop I feel so jumpy and my muscles twitch and ache and it all just wants to keep going because... that’s what I’m used to?</p><p>“I’m used to letting my body be the driving force when my heart doesn’t know what it wants. But that sounds-” Zagreus shakes his head fiercely. “I mean the physicality of things? It’s all I’ve ever really been good at. I’ve relied on going through the motions of things when I’ve felt directionless.” Patroclus nods his understanding for him to continue. He does with, “And, well, usually my heart’s on the same page as the rest of me, but now- I don’t know how to ignore the way I want to <em> move </em> to sit in place instead, especially when that feels so...”</p><p>Some of the anxious energy seems to drain from Zagreus, shoulders slumping and his eyes drifting shut. “It makes me think of the ways things were at the house before all this started. I knew I didn’t belong there but I had no idea what else to do with myself. Nothing ever changed back then. I never improved at anything, I failed at every task I was given, and nothing I did ever made any difference. I <em> loathed </em> it and I... I think I’m afraid of it.”</p><p>Zagreus looks up at him and Patroclus can see it, that fear, and realizes now that he had not only been running towards something in those earlier encounters of theirs, but running away from something as well.</p><p>“I know this is different than that, I don’t mean to compare them, but it makes me think of those times anyway. Slowing down to stay here, and taking the time to <em> rest </em> like Achilles asks me to-” and he says the word rest like it’s the strongest foe he’s ever faced- “is so hard when it makes me nervous in the same way that the house once did.</p><p>“I don’t-” he swallows; breathes hard- “I don’t know how to face that feeling.”</p><p>“You’re afraid of stasis,” Patroclus says, and Zagreus flicks his gaze to him looking vulnerable and caught off guard. “If I may be so bold to extrapolate,” he asks retroactively with a touch of guilt.</p><p>“No I- please, by all means,” Zagerus answers tremulously. “I want to hear your thoughts.”</p><p>“If you’re sure.” Patroclus gathers his thoughts, picking over his words carefully. “It seems to me that you’re afraid of stasis or stagnation, of being trapped in a state where nothing changes and no progress is made.” Zagreus nods readily enough at that. “I can understand why; it’s a very reasonable fear to have.”</p><p>“But... fear is for the weak.”</p><p>Patroclus sighs and rubs at the side of his nose and part of him wants to curse Achilles, but he knows he’s used that damn phrase around Zagreus a few times himself.</p><p>“It’s more complicated than that,” he tries to amend. “To indulge ourselves in fear and to let it shape us and our choices- that is weak. But first and foremost, fear is for the <em> smart. </em> Everyone feels fear and it’s always for a <em> reason, </em> and often for a very sensible reason that keeps us from getting killed.”</p><p>Zagreus’s mouth twitches in a tiny smile and Patroclus feels a flush of satisfaction. “Fears need to be acknowledged and understood for us to know what to do about them. Only then can we be sure that they won’t overwhelm us and make us weak. Being afraid isn’t bad, in and of itself.”</p><p>Zagreus stares down at the charred stains he's made in the grass with his feet. “But I’m not afraid of the right thing anymore. I learned to always keep moving forward because I was- I <em> am- </em> afraid of stagnating, like you said, but this isn’t that, and now, suddenly, the momentum of that is carrying me away from the things, the <em> people </em> I love. And when Achilles is with you, I let myself indulge my fear... Letting it make me weak is exactly what I do.”</p><p>Patroclus hums lowly, looking over the prince and all he knows about him. He shifts nervously at his extended pause until tentatively prompting, “Patroclus?”</p><p>“I was just thinking what an odd pair we make,” he confesses, sidetracked by the realization. “Elysium has its own stasis that I had to deal with for so long, but while you grew to hate yours, I believe I grew dependent on mine. I think I became a <em> part </em> of it, for how long I refused to do anything. We’ve acted very different in very similar circumstances, it seems.”</p><p>Zagreus says nothing, appearing uncertain and unsettled at his words. “It was merely an observation,” he attempts to reassure. “Although, thinking on it now, I wonder if I want your company so badly because I have the same fear. Now that I’ve had to recognize my own stagnation as... less than stellar, I suppose I’m afraid of going back to that, and yet, I don’t know what else to do with myself when you and Achilles are gone.</p><p>“You only know how to run forward and I only know how to sit still. You feel the need to leave because you have somewhere to go. I don’t want you to leave because I don’t have anywhere to go, nowhere with purpose, anyway.”</p><p>“You deserve better than this, you shouldn’t have to struggle with this on your own,” Zagreus declares promptly, definitively, achingly, and startles Patroclus from his thoughts. He’s gotten too used to murmuring on his own, hasn’t he. “I should be here with you to help, not just when Achilles is gone, I’ve been so selfish.” Patroclus winces at the anger in his voice, turned inwards because of course it is.</p><p>“It’s more complicated than that. What I’m asking of you is rather like stagnation, isn’t it? You’re on a journey to try to reach the surface every time you pass through and I ask you to stop doing that to spend time with me instead. With your struggles with purpose and having nowhere to go, I can see why it’d bother you. It can’t be a comfortable feeling to be stopped in your tracks like that.”</p><p>Zagreus’s lashes flutter quickly and he rasps, “But this isn’t fair to you.”</p><p>“No, but it isn’t fair for me to ask you to stay under such circumstances either.” Zagreus drags in a deep, unsteady breath and Patroclus sighs. “What shall we do about it then? This isn’t quite working as is.”</p><p>Zagreus curls his hands in to clutch at his arms and Patroclus hates how small he looks. “I- I don’t know. I’m not sure what...”</p><p>“Hm. I don’t know either,” he states, voicing the words as lightly as he can. He leans in and prods Zagreus’s arm lightly with one finger. “How about you promise me to think on it then? I will as well.”</p><p>“Of <em> course- </em> I will, I- I’ll figure out a way to make this right, I promise you,” Zagreus declares like he would die trying or whatever phrase would have an equivalent significance to an immortal who dies on the daily and or nightly. His dedication is touching though his degree of intensity is rather overdramatic.</p><p>No wonder he took so well to learning from Achilles.</p><p>“Considering it is all I’m asking, Zagreus,” he reminds him. “And you can go when you want, by the way, we talked about the things I wanted to ask you about.” Zagreus’s head snaps up to stare at him, stunned, and Patroclus raises a brow.</p><p>“What? I don’t intend to keep you here when it chafes under your skin. You promised me you’d think on it and that’s enough for me right now. We have all the time in the world down here, don’t we? I don't doubt that we’ll figure it out eventually.”</p><p>Finally, <em> finally, </em> the tension that had snagged Zagreus and strung him tight from the moment Patroclus had broached this vanishes. The hurt and heavy guilt in his expression fall away to reveal a wobbly smile, brilliant adoration. “I-” he starts to say, but after a heartbeat, he cups Patroclus’s face in his palms and kisses him instead.</p><p>And <em> oh, </em> Zagreus has never kissed him <em> so tenderly. </em></p><p>Patroclus needs a moment to let his eyes flutter open again after Zagreus pulls away.</p><p>“I love you,” Zagreus declares, so earnestly, so lovingly, he feels the god has held out his full heart between his hands and given it to him.</p><p>Nothing else is enough, so Patroclus kisses him in return, pouring out his fondness. “Oh, love,” he calls him in a sigh and he feels Zagreus smile against his lips.</p><p>The prince looks smitten and jittery when he retreats. “Maybe I should go,” he says, seemingly half to himself. “I do- I do think best on my feet.” Zagreus looks back to the door he came through first, scanning the whole room as he turns in a full circuit in an interesting quirk Patroclus files away in his mind.</p><p>“Then go.” Patroclus swats the side of his thigh with the back of his fingers lightly and chuckles when he jumps. “I will see you again in due time.”</p><p>“Yes. I’ll be back.” In a surprisingly graceful gesture, Zagreus takes his left hand and lifts it to place a single, tender kiss to his knuckles before he dashes out the further door, shedding embers from his laurels.</p><p>Patroclus settles himself on the ground, getting comfortable once again. At least he has something to think about for now. This place has always been perfect for that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter took a very long time to write, it stalled me out in so many places, but I'm happy with how it turned out! Time to tackle the struggles of genuine love in difficult circumstances~</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. It's Up to You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Patroclus has a plan that’s ready to be set in motion. Zagreus also has a plan. It’s still a work in progress. Achilles meets where they converge.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This whole time I've been thinking of that heart opening gif with "Chapter 5 my beloved" inside</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Tell me stranger, are the shades of the realm permitted to visit the House of Hades?” is what Patroclus asks in the end, the next time Zagreus has found his glade while Achilles is still away.</p>
<p>His question makes the prince pause.</p>
<p>He blinks once, gaze shifting to some distant point behind him and stops. He pauses so long that Patroclus shifts in discomfort and amends, “I don’t mean to intrude. I was just curious, you needn’t worry about it.”</p>
<p>Zagreus’s lashes flutter as he blinks a few more times then shakes his head lightly and refocuses on Patroclus. “Ah- I didn’t mean to rebuff your question, I just... I have no idea.” He tilts his head to one side and flicks his gaze upwards in consideration.</p>
<p>“I never thought about it before. Certainly no one’s ever asked me before. I must admit, most shades are very eager to <em> leave </em> our house, not the other way around.” His mismatched eyes flit back. “Do you... really intend to visit?”</p>
<p>“I have been thinking,” Patroclus informs him. “I’ve been thinking about the fact that your visits here are always part of an attempt to reach the surface because, to my understanding, that’s the only thing that can bring your path through Elysium in the first place. I thought, then, that if I could simply visit your home that would be a practical way to be with you more. That is, to see you when you haven’t just gone through such chaotic conflict and still have more to face.”</p>
<p>Red and green eyes flick rapidly over his features and Zagreus, for once, seems at a loss for what to say.</p>
<p>“Do tell me if I’m overstepping,” Patroclus tries again. “It was just one idea. If it wouldn’t work, we can certainly think of something else.”</p>
<p>“No, it’s just that it’s...” and Zagreus’s voice wavers ever so slightly. “I’m touched that you would go to such lengths to be around me.”</p>
<p>Patroclus hums softly, maybe even more lyrically than he intended. “If all goes well, it will be good for the both of us.” More lightly, he says, “I just think it’s worth a try. I guarantee nothing, though.”</p>
<p>“Let’s see then.” Patroclus can’t help but grin when Zagreus’s face scrunches up and his bright hot foot starts tapping from deep focus. “Well... shades in Tartarus certainly aren’t permitted since they’re bound to their punishments at all times. I’m not sure about the shades in Asphodel, but I think they might be restricted to that area of the Underworld, but a shade from Elysium... I don’t see why not.”</p>
<p>A nervous smile leaps onto his face then and he rushes to add, “Although- I hope you don’t mind if I make you wait a little longer so I can check at the house first. I think Achilles might get <em> very </em> angry at me if I managed to undo all his hard work by getting you stuck down there and I would like to avoid any chance of that happening to you myself.”</p>
<p>“Normally I would say that nothing could make Achilles truly mad at you,” Patroclus replies with a lazy grin. “But, yes, I think that would do it.”</p>
<p>Zagreus gives him a beautiful smile in return that makes something unfurl in his chest, basking loose and content. “That’s a fate I want to try to avoid, if it’s all the same to you- you being stuck in my father’s house, I mean, I’m afraid I can’t really recommend it.” Patroclus doesn’t doubt that.</p>
<p>“But, yes-!” Zagreus continues brightly, and Patroclus sets aside the urge to pull him close and have him at his side as long as the Fates would allow it, for now, at least. “I’ll be sure to look into it when I get back. I imagine Nyx must know, or, short of that, know where in the Administrative Chamber I could look to find out.”</p>
<p>“Take all the time you need,” Patroclus tells him earnestly. “And thank you for paying mind to my request.”</p>
<p>“Always!” Zagreus crows, his face an open book of ardent cheer. “This is exciting- I like this idea, I never would have thought of this. I’m going to find out.” Patroclus would say that he bounds off lightning quick but the crackling power of Zeus that shifts tangibly through the air when he dashes away makes that feel rather redundant.</p>
<p>Upon his return, however, Zagreus is electric without any added blessings from the King of the Gods and Patroclus doesn’t need to wait wondering if his notion turned out favorably.</p>
<p>Zagreus advises that he ask Charon for a ride down for this first time because, although shades can generally shift where they please in the Underworld with force of will, it could be difficult to go somewhere he’s never seen. Zagreus races onward with the promise that he’ll soon end up in the Pool of Styx one way or another to meet him in the house.</p>
<p>And so, Patroclus seeks out the ferryman.</p>
<p>He figures he must have seen him once before, when he died, but he would be lying if he said he remembers his trip to the Underworld, so it’s like seeing Charon for the first time. The god is tall and dark, adorned with much of the flashing gold Patroclus knows he covets. Patroclus wonders what he gains from it. He wonders what became of the first coin he must have paid for passage however long ago.</p>
<p>It’s an intimidating prospect to ask a favor of a god so devoted to a singular purpose. (Asking a <em> service, </em> Patroclus corrects himself for his own comfort.) Although, Charon might not act exclusively within his job as ferryman, he realizes as he looks at the stall set up on the banks of the Lethe. His wares looked picked over and he wonders if Zagreus has already come through here.</p>
<p>He approaches Charon slowly. Keeping his voice as even and polite as possible, he says, “Prince Zagreus suggested you might be willing to give me a ride to the House of Hades.” After a beat of silence passes, he fishes out the obols Zagreus gave him just for this and offers them. “I have payment.”</p>
<p>“Hhrrrmmmmmmm...” The sound reverberates through Charon’s looming form as the god considers him. Patroclus keeps his arm with coins in hand extended. He doesn’t know what price he might ask for this, so Patroclus has offered every obol he was given. Zagreus had reassured him breezily that none of the money stayed with when he died anyway, so he doesn’t feel guilty for not haggling, even when, in a sudden movement, Charon sweeps up every coin.</p>
<p>It’s somewhat dizzying to watch when Charon turns to his strange little shop and, under his gaze, everything set up starts to fold in on itself until, after a few moments, they wink out of sight. He supposes the materials must have a place they are stored until Charon has another free moment when he can let them unfurl to sell his goods again.</p>
<p>Charon shifts from the now empty shore to the end of the short dock where he taps his boat with his oar. Patroclus takes the cue to follow him and carefully enter the vessel.</p>
<p>He lets the trip pass in silence and tries not to wonder if this plan was the best choice for his overall wellbeing.</p>
<p>The journey passes without incident, however, and Charon stops his boat at a strange landing. A simple slab of marble with rounded corners juts into the Styx from an imposing wall that decidedly lacks any sort of door. For another thing, the landing is built so that it rests just <em> below </em> the Styx, not above it. About half an inch of red water (or is it just blood?) flows over the top of the stone.</p>
<p>Patroclus looks over at Charon. The ferryman looks back.</p>
<p>He can glean nothing from his countenance, but he can interpret the impatience when he shifts his weight well enough.</p>
<p>“Hooooooohhhhh...” he rasps.</p>
<p>“Right,” Patroclus replies, and he <em> hopes </em> this is right. He steps over the edge of the boat, carefully minding his balance on the wet landing. The moment he plants both feet on the cold marble, everything around him shifts.</p>
<p>Suddenly he’s standing at the end of a long, sumptuously decorated hall, ceilings hidden in shadow stretching high over his head. Enormous jewels cap finely carved columns, glittering in the warm light of braziers. He sees an imposing desk set at the opposite end of the hall, currently unoccupied.</p>
<p>The House of Hades.</p>
<p>Patroclus looks down and realizes he’s in the Pool of Styx. He stands on the last step, half and inch of water (or blood) shifting around the soles of his feet.</p>
<p>He shakes each foot off carefully as he steps out.</p>
<p>It doesn’t seem like Zagreus has returned yet, but there is much to take in even without him there. A fair number of vaguely formed shades mill about restlessly in the hall, looking at a loss for what to do. A figure floats at the intersection of a second hallway who Patroclus feels safe assuming is Hypnos, given the ledger in his hands and the snores drifting from him. He sees the muzzle of a huge, crimson hound come into view and settle on the floor beside the desk.</p>
<p>Achilles must be somewhere in the house but he’s nowhere in sight and Patroclus figures it’s best not to wander without the one who invited him here. He shifts from the main walkway to stand against the wall. He doesn’t have to wait long until he hears a splash from the Pool of Styx which he turns to with a flush of warmth he couldn’t quite smother.</p>
<p>And <em> thank the Fates </em> he manages to strangle whatever greeting was rising in his throat when the hand that rises from the pool is <em> much larger </em> than Zagreus’s.</p>
<p>He immediately turns away again and fights to be as inconspicuous as possible as Hades, for there’s no one else it could be, lifts himself out of the pool.</p>
<p>Patroclus generally doesn’t go looking for trouble and he <em> certainly </em> doesn’t go looking at the Lord of the household. He does, however, absorb everything he can from the corner of his eye. Hades is vast, closer to the scale Patroclus once imagined gods would be than Zagreus is. The prince clearly inherited his right eye from him, dark, save for a ring of red. His garb is also similar to his son’s, although more heavily adorned with gold and gems. An enormous beard twists from his face in a shape Patroclus struggles to think of as anything other than ridiculous.</p>
<p>Lord Hades passes him without acknowledgement. Hypnos startles awake to chirp, “Zagreus give you the runaround again? I’m sure you’ll get him next time, Master, as long as you remember my advice to-!”</p>
<p><em> “Dodge?” </em> Hades interrupts in an impressive rumble.</p>
<p>“Yep!”</p>
<p>Patroclus raises an eyebrow when the God of the Dead only scoffs and continues to his desk. Hypnos barely waits a beat before rearranging himself to continue his nap. Patroclus looks away again as Hades turns back towards the hall before seating himself.</p>
<p>A strange house, he thinks.</p>
<p>This wait is even shorter and Hades has barely started his parchmentwork when Zagreus breaches the surface of the pool. He climbs the steps with familiarity and a grumble Patroclus can’t make out, flicking the red water or probably just blood from his hair. He stretches his arms above his head until he notices Patroclus and beams.</p>
<p>The prince darts over to him, full of vigor considering he just died, though Patroclus didn’t really expect anything else from his stranger. “You made it!” Zagreus observes eagerly. “You didn’t run into any troubles, I hope?”</p>
<p>“None at all,” he replies, feeling the now familiar fondness Zagreus always stirs in him settle into his bones. “Your boatman was accommodating, although, I’m afraid I don’t have any coin left for you.”</p>
<p>Zagreus waves his hand without a care. “That’s fine! I’ll show you around. The house isn’t very big, but- ah, it’s been a long time since I’ve done a tour or anything.” He shifts his feet restlessly, but he seems more excited than nervous.</p>
<p>Patroclus again eyes the towering vaults of the ceiling above them. “I’m not sure you have an accurate standard for what a big house is, Zagreus.”</p>
<p>With a little trill in his laugh, the prince amends, “Oh, haha, yeah, the scale is rather ostentatious, isn’t it? I suppose I meant that there’s not much here to do.”  A thoughtful look passes over his face for a moment before clearing. “I’ll show you the things around, though!”</p>
<p>Apparently, Zagreus’s idea of some<em>thing </em> is actually some<em>one </em> because he promptly approaches the red garbed figure at the corner.</p>
<p>“This is Hypnos,” Zagreus states, even as the God of Sleep juggles his ledger, jolted by a second rude awakening.</p>
<p>Hypnos flashes a cheerful grin at Zagreus, then at him. “Welcome to the House of Hades!” he declares, gesturing widely. “You can-” He glances at the ledger. “Oh! You didn’t die just now, huh!”</p>
<p>“I got that taken care of quite a while back,” Patroclus says mildly. Hypnos looks him over more attentively then, and Patroclus thinks he sees a flicker of recognition cross his face, but the god does not comment on it and Patroclus isn't familiar enough with him to feel sure he didn't imagine it.</p>
<p>“Well, welcome anyway!” A second quick glance at the list. “If you’re one of Zag’s friends, maybe you can convince him to take a blanket with him next time so he might not catch a cold on the surface!”</p>
<p>“Hypnos, mate, no blanket could survive a journey through Asphodel.”</p>
<p>“Mine sure could!” Hypnos flicks his quill against the fleece lining of the red quilt around his form.</p>
<p>Zagreus arches a brow and crosses his arms, but his eyes gleam with humor. “Nice of you to bring it up, but I <em> happen </em> to know that if I put that thing over my shoulders, I would fall asleep in an instant.”</p>
<p>“You could use some of that too!”</p>
<p>“I’ve been doing better about that recently!” Zagreus retorts, crossing his arms petulantly. Hypnos’s smile goes sly at that and Zagreus flushes like he regrets saying it.</p>
<p>“That you have. Kudos to Achilles for all his efforts!” Based on what Achilles has told him about their relationship, he thinks that might be less of an innuendo and more of a comment on his very real struggles to convince Zagreus to stay in his room long enough to catch a little sleep between however many escape attempts. Possibly both.</p>
<p>“But, in my <em> very professional opinion,” </em> Hypnos continues, “you still need more sleep!”</p>
<p>Zagreus frowns and looks away stubbornly. “Go back to sleep, Hypnos.”</p>
<p>“Can do!” The god curls up where he floats to do just that. “You should follow my example.” His eyes flick to Patroclus once more before closing. “Enjoy your stay!”</p>
<p>The snores restart barely a moment later.</p>
<p>“Sounds like you need to get better acquainted with your bed,” Patroclus notes mildly to which Zagreus groans dramatically in response.</p>
<p>“Not you too. Don’t listen to what Hypnos says; he always tells me I need more sleep.”</p>
<p>Patroclus arches an eyebrow. “Really? Because I’m inclined to trust the God of Sleep’s opinion on the matter.”</p>
<p>Zagreus huffs, breath stirring one of the laurel leaves he sheds that wheels through the air before vanishing like an ember of fire. “Did Achilles put you up to this? Ah, speaking of, his post is over here,” Zagreus mentions casually, rounding the corner before Patroclus can tell him that he cares for him and worries after him perfectly well without Achilles’ request.</p>
<p>Patroclus follows after him alertly now, distracted from his affection for Zagreus for the moment by the thought of seeing where his beloved has been for so long.</p>
<p>Sure enough, Achilles stands at the end of the hall, idly leaning against his spear. A smile flits across his face at the sight of Zagreus until his gaze moves past him to Patroclus and his jaw falls open.</p>
<p>His eyes switch rapidly between the two of them as they close the distance.</p>
<p>Achilles seizes his shoulder the moment he’s in range. “Pat, <em> what are you doing here?” </em> he asks, absolutely aghast.</p>
<p>“I’m visiting,” he replies evenly.</p>
<p>Achilles grows even more distressed at that. “You’re visiting. <em> You’re visiting.” </em> He grabs his other shoulder. <em> “What do you mean?!” </em> He seems a hair’s breadth away from shaking him within an inch of his life.</p>
<p>“Ah, Achilles!” Zagreus yelps and jumps forward. He waves his hands a few times through the tension in the air. “It’s true, it’s just a visit! Any shade in Elysium can visit the house if they want, and can go when they please. There’s no danger to it!”</p>
<p>Without releasing him, Achilles snaps his gaze to the prince. His expression has turned to complete bafflement. Zagreus shrugs helplessly.</p>
<p>“It surprised me too! I had no idea. But I checked, I’m sure of it, I promise!”</p>
<p>Achilles blinks at him as his panic scrambled brain clearly tries to catch up with that revelation. All he manages is to turn back to Patroclus in bewilderment.</p>
<p>With a grin, Patroclus cups his jaw and closes Achilles’ mouth for him. He can’t resist placing a peck on his lips before releasing him.</p>
<p>Achilles finally tears his gaze away to bury his face in his hands with a long, muffled groan. “-scaring me like that, you damn bastard.”</p>
<p>Zagreus’s hands fidget anxiously. “Achilles, I’m so sorry, I should have let you know I invited him here. I didn’t mean to make you panic; I was just so excited by the prospect that the thought didn’t cross my mind.”</p>
<p>His voice drips sincerity, a wholly unnecessary kindness in the eyes of Patroclus, who is perfectly content to keep snickering at Achilles’ distress. Before Achilles can reply, Patroclus says, “Oh, he’ll get over it. I need to keep him on his toes every once in a while. I thought it might prove a productive change of pace,” he tells Achilles, “so I asked if there was a way I could see the house.”</p>
<p>“Productive, right, of course.” Achilles lifts his head and favors him with a tired, though decidedly resigned look. He sighs, then asks, “And what do you think of it so far?”</p>
<p>“Intriguing, and, in a way, exactly what I expected the House of Hades to be like. Though some of the decor sticks out.”</p>
<p>“Zagreus has been commissioning quite a lot of things. The flower petals were his touch.”</p>
<p>Head tilted thoughtfully, Patroclus throws him a glance. “Hm. Interesting choice. Are all these furnishing around our dear Achilles your doing as well?”</p>
<p>Zagreus flushes and turns away, only to jolt when he catches his eye again in the mirror behind Achilles and rubs the palm of his hand over his heated cheeks. “They are, though I’m afraid all the knickknacks in the world couldn’t make this job interesting.”</p>
<p>“Perhaps not, but I appreciate the thought,” Achilles assures him. “And for now, at least, I think one could easily argue that my shift has reached its end, within our ability to measure time down here...” His beloved uses the tone of a suggestion, leaving room for polite rejection should they prefer to be without him for the moment, a kind, but highly unnecessary accommodation.</p>
<p>“Oh, certainly,” Zagreus answers slyly. “Harsh schedules are <em> so </em> hard to set down here, even Father hasn’t managed it; all we can do is just try our best to end work when it seems reasonable.”</p>
<p>Patroclus perches an elbow on the prince’s shoulder and leans into him. “Yes, and I <em> hate </em> to insinuate that these fine halls would survive some time bereft of your watchful gaze-” Achilles rolls his eyes exaggeratedly- “but I think the many dangers might stay at bay long enough for you to join us.”</p>
<p>Achilles lifts one foot up to brush the back of his chiton over his thigh and then the other in an idle stretch. “How much of the house have you seen? I’ll join you for the rest, then.”</p>
<p>“Just the Great Hall,” Zagreus chirps, already taking off down towards an overlook of the River Styx. Patroclus follows after and Achilles keeps pace with him.</p>
<p>Gesturing to a closed door on the right, Zagreus informs him, “That’s the administrative chamber. The first job Father fired me from had me working in there. And the second one. The third job had me working with the Broker but then the fourth one was back here. After that, he kicked me out entirely.”</p>
<p>Patroclus settles on a carefully level hum, not hazarding a proper reply to <em> that. </em> Fortunately, Zagreus carries on with, “I’m not sure if I can show it to you, but there’s nothing in there anyway but endless parchmentwork.”</p>
<p>“That’s quite alright,” Patroclus tells him and Zagreus moves on with a single, quick glance back at the administrative chamber door.</p>
<p>The prince pauses at a few unoccupied chairs around a table and comments, “Thanatos must be working.”</p>
<p>That statement feels incredibly strange to Patroclus and he elects to ignore it for the moment in favor of asking, “Why in the <em> world </em> do you have a sundial down here?” The offending object sits in the center of the hall, a huge stone mass with gold inlays, impossible to ignore. Zagreus glances over at it once he addresses it.</p>
<p>“Oh, that’s one of the things I commissioned from the House Contractor. Father had been wanting one for a while too.” He leans over. “Looks like it’s still 7:48.”</p>
<p>Patroclus studies the faint, shifting shadows over the markings, glances at the gatherings of candles lighting the hall, then looks up at the ceiling, unsurprisingly still shadowed and lacking any sort of light that might have come from above. He shares a glance with Achilles, who wears an expression he doesn’t have a name for, but convinces him not to ask any questions anyway.</p>
<p>“Right,” he says indulgently, trying to put the sundial out of his mind as Zagreus leads them back the way they came.</p>
<p>“That’s my father’s room,” he says about the far set of double doors when they return to the juncture of the halls.</p>
<p>“Can’t go in there,” Achilles adds quickly and Patroclus recalls that that was one of the rooms he was charged with guarding.</p>
<p>“It’s really austere in there anyway. Nothing to see.” And oh yes, Patroclus also recalls that Achilles is a guard of questionable quality considering that he apparently just handed over the key to Zagreus on one occasion.</p>
<p>“Ah, looks like Mother is somewhere else,” Zagreus notes when he returns to the central hall, closer to the desk now. Patroclus can’t bring himself to mind; even after Zagreus’s and Achilles’ warm mentions of her, he doesn’t think he could find something nice to say to the Queen of the Underworld after the first he heard of her didn’t... <em> endear </em> her to him.</p>
<p>Neither Zagreus nor Achilles acknowledge the <em> King </em> of the Underworld, nearby though he is, who ignores them all in turn. Patroclus respects that apparent agreement and doesn’t look his way.</p>
<p>He looks at the dog instead as Zagreus says, “This is Cerberus,” as if Patroclus could have possibly thought anything else. Patroclus offers the back of his hand to the enormous, three headed beast and he notices both his lovers go tense behind him, but the motion is already done and neither of them dare to object to it now.</p>
<p>Cerberus’s right most head lifts and gives his hand a few examining sniffs. Patroclus wonders if the dead even have a smell, immediately followed by the thought that, if any creature in the world could pick up on the scent of a shade, it would be the Hound of Hades.</p>
<p>Apparently, his scent, such that it may be, does nothing to offend and Cerberus returns his head to his paw in acceptance of his presence, though without any undue affection for a stranger.</p>
<p>“Oh good, he likes you,” Zagreus exhales cheerfully. “Head Delta is the most amiable, Beta and Gamma can be a bit more moody.”</p>
<p>“Well I’m happy to be approved of.” Cerberus tilts his head (head Delta?) and curiously watches them move off as Zagreus continues his tour.</p>
<p>He introduces him to the court musician Orpheus with his gaunt features and unkempt hair, but he has a shine in his eyes and a kind, lilting voice. Beyond him is the lounge, occupied by smattering of shades and even a chef, strangely enough. Achilles comments that the space has proven perfect for sharing nectar or ambrosia on many occasions, but they don’t linger for the moment.</p>
<p>Zagreus leads him into his room, in the end, which Patroclus has to crane his neck to look around properly. “Damn, your room is just as huge as everything else.”</p>
<p>“I never grew into it as much as I might have.”</p>
<p>Patroclus snorts loud and abrupt when his eyes land on a wall scroll of Achilles on the battlefield. He can barely get a good look at the thing for how he has to duck his head to try and smother his laughter. “I don’t even have a joke for that,” he wheezes.</p>
<p>Achilles makes a funny, strangled noise when he sees the scroll and hisses at Zagreus, face bright, “How did you even find that?”</p>
<p>“Give it up, Achilles!” Zagreus shoots back instantly. “You can try hiding it wherever you want, I’m gonna keep putting it up!”</p>
<p>“You hid it?” Patroclus barks incredulously.</p>
<p>“I rolled it <em> inside </em> one of those damn scrolls you keep in those jars you’ve had for <em> ages. </em> Why would you even go through those?”</p>
<p>“I’ll tear this place apart as many times as I need to to put it back up!”</p>
<p>“You like it that much?” Patroclus inquires distractedly, looking at it closer now. It’s a rather stylized but decently attractive depiction of Achilles. His legs look nice.</p>
<p>“It’s a matter of principle now,” Zagreus declares, crossing his arms as the real Achilles drags his hands through his hair with a prodigious groan.</p>
<p>“I hate it.”</p>
<p>“It’s staying. You’re a worthy subject for a wall scroll!”</p>
<p>Achilles turns around and lifts his chin. “I’m not acknowledging it. I’m not going to look at it.”</p>
<p>“Then there should be no reason for it to go missing again,” Zagreus concludes neatly, drifting towards the bed. Despite this, Achilles throws one last loathing look at the scroll and Patroclus wonders where it will turn up next time.</p>
<p>The three of them settle on the bed together and it’s strange for Patroclus to think that such a casual display of intimacy took him a journey through half the Underworld to reach. It’s also strange to think that this outing would qualify as a journey through half the Underworld with how enjoyable it turned out to be.</p>
<p>For so long, the comings and goings of these two lovely fools of his have been the closest he’s had to a change in scenery. He remains while his surroundings change until even that goes back to how it was before and the nature of Elysium heals over the torn up grass where Achilles twists the butt of his spear and the scorch marks Zagreus leaves with his feet.</p>
<p>He would often look around his glade and think, <em> This is all I have, </em> but now he looks around Prince Zagreus's room in the House of Hades and thinks, <em> That is all I let myself have. </em></p>
<p>A change of scenery is a valuable thing.</p>
<p>He hasn’t even been on a bed since he died, he realizes.</p>
<p>“I never thought I would see you here,” Achilles murmurs lowly, eyes fixed on him like his thoughts have wandered in a similar direction.</p>
<p>“I hope it doesn’t disappoint-” He sees Zagreus reach out to fiddle with the edge of the comforter- “after you went through all the effort to get here.”</p>
<p>“I assure you it hasn’t disappointed, but I don’t think the experience owes me to hold up to some standard just because I went to the effort. Rather, the effort is something <em> I </em> owe and what happens after can come as it will. Just took me long enough to pay my dues,” Patroclus muses.</p>
<p>“And what did the risk cost?” Achilles asks, leaning into him with half lidded eyes and a gentle smile.</p>
<p>“Not much,” Patroclus admits without a fight. “A bit of time, which I now have an eternity of, a few obols I suckered out of some stranger in first place-” Zagreus shoves his shoulder into him- “and a change of routine, mostly. It didn’t really cost me much at all, especially considering what I gained in return. I’m afraid I’ve come to the rather embarrassingly obvious realization that something out of reach isn’t necessarily unattainable, I might just have to get a bit closer to grab it.”</p>
<p>“Be fair to yourself,” Achilles admonishes. “That’s not always a simple thing to do. But I’m very pleased that it’s becoming more simple.”</p>
<p>“I hope that our company is familiar enough to make this place comfortable when everything else is so different for Elysium,” Zagreus frets.</p>
<p>“Oh, what a doting romantic you are,” Patroclus purrs and his prince blushes a fetching shade of red. “It’s more than enough.”</p>
<p>Zagreus scans him up and down with red and green eyes, taking in everything Patroclus offers, knowingly and unknowingly. He asks evenly, “Do you think you’ll come back here again?”</p>
<p>“I have every intention to,” he tells him truthfully.</p>
<p>Zagreus breaks into a smile and leans in to kiss him, chaste but lingering. When he pulls back, Patroclus catches sight of Achilles shaking his head faintly, hand on the back of his neck.</p>
<p>“What?” he chuckles. “Any objections, Achilles? You’d best take your chance now if you want to kick me out of the house.”</p>
<p>He breathes a laugh in reply and shakes his head more clearly. “I’m not quite ready to chase you away just yet, as it happens. I just can’t imagine myself getting used to you being around here sometimes.”</p>
<p>“I’m thrilled for it,” Zagreus declares with an eager little wriggle in place, making his heart flutter. “The house will be a lot more fun when you’re around on occasion.”</p>
<p>“I imagine you’re right, though I think that’s what feels so strange about it.” Patroclus raises a brow. “I suppose I’ve always seen my duties as a guard as a punishment for the things I did wrong when, in reality, all it is is a job I’m contracted to do. Before everything, I felt I deserved it, of course, but along with that, I just figured a costly pact with a powerful god could never be an enjoyable arrangement. It’s so bizarre to see it becoming exactly that.”</p>
<p>“Fortunately, the whole world isn’t <em> actually </em> out to get you, Achilles,” Patroclus quips.</p>
<p>Achilles manages a little grin, but it doesn’t have the same humor Patroclus spoke with. “Fortunately,” he echoes, “though, it’s a hard thought to leave behind, after so many of the gods impressed their will upon my life, while it still lasted.”</p>
<p>Achilles furrows his brows when he notices Zagreus shift slightly at that, expression pinched, and sets a comforting hand on his knee without hesitation. “I didn’t mean to imply that you’ve done anything like that, lad.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Zagreus murmurs seriously. “I just hope I don’t end up repeating their mistakes.”</p>
<p>“That alone proves how different you are,” Patroclus tells him fondly. “I <em>highly</em> doubt that any of the Olympians or the rest of them see any of the things they did as mistakes.”</p>
<p>Achilles takes one of Zagreus’s hands in his own. “He’s right. After all the time I’ve had the pleasure of your companionship, I’ll always trust your desire to do good by others.” His voice takes on a heavier weight and rougher edge as he says, “You don’t have the same cruelty in your heart as so many of them do, Zagreus, I know that now. I made you suffer from my anger for the gods a long time ago and it was a wretched mistake I will never make again.” The tendons of Zagreus's hand rise as he squeezes Achilles' hand.</p>
<p>There is a story here, an important one, Patroclus can feel it snaking through the shadowed depths of the channels that now connect their hearts. It stirs inside him, part of a history that doesn’t belong to him and yet has found its way to him through the bonds he shares with his lovers. Nonetheless, Patroclus calmly accepts that it’s not his place to hear it retold, at least, not right now.</p>
<p>Zagreus frowns and shuffles closer to Achilles. “You don’t have to worry about all of that. I trust you.”</p>
<p>“Oh, Zagreus. I can’t help but wonder, after what I did, if I can really possibly deserve you.”</p>
<p>“All that stuff doesn’t- No.” He stops, gaze resolute. “I don’t think... you should be concerned with <em> deserving </em> me at all. I mean, you don’t even have <em> me, </em> what you have is my love. And that’s not something you have to deserve like a reward if you’ve earned it, it’s something I choose to give and it’s up to you to accept it. And the things that happened in the past aren’t suddenly going to destroy the love I have for you. They’ve even helped shape it, so...”</p>
<p>“I- <em> hurt you,” </em> Achilles rasps, wide eyes fixed on Zagreus.</p>
<p>“Then you stopped,” Zagreus states with a little shrug. “You changed. The things that happened hurt at the time, but I think because of it, I <em> know </em> that the care and love you give me now is genuine. If nothing had ever gone wrong and you'd never had a need to change, I don’t think I would have <em> understood </em> you well enough to love you. But you did and I do and I don’t plan on stopping any time soon.”</p>
<p>Achilles exhales loudly, as if his ribs have folded in inside his chest.</p>
<p>“Zagreus has the right of it, and says it well,” Patroclus tells his beloved. “Love isn’t earned by upstanding behavior. If it was, any consistently kind and honorable person would find everyone they meet falling in love with them, right? We fall in love with <em>people,</em> in their entirety, with the good and the bad. By which, I mean- Achilles, you already have every right to accept the love we give you just by merit of being you.”</p>
<p>Patroclus watches Achilles bite his bottom lip behind his teeth before he ducks his head, angling it so that his loose curls hide his expression from view.</p>
<p>“The pair of you,” he gasps, thick and breathless. “Your love is the brightest thing I’ve ever felt.”</p>
<p>Zagreus curls up against his side. “It’s yours, Achilles.”</p>
<p>Achilles clutches Zagreus to him, abrupt and fierce. A quiet, warbling sound escapes his throat when Patroclus rearranges himself at his other side and presses a kiss into the back of his hair.</p>
<p>Patroclus smiles, blissful and content, as they take in each other’s company quietly for a time. “We’re here,” he says at length. “You’re alright, beloved.”</p>
<p>Achilles takes a deep, steadying breath and lifts his head. “I believe I am. Hmm. Seems even old dogs can learn new tricks.”</p>
<p>“Ha! Seems they can.” Patroclus stretches his arms high above his head. “Well I, for one, am quite impressed with myself. I think my plan was an enormous success.”</p>
<p>“I think you undersell yourself, to be honest,” Zagreus says at the same time Achilles glares at him warily and asks, “And what plan was this?”</p>
<p>“Ah, my visit to the house. I forgot we never got the chance to catch you up on that.”</p>
<p>Between him and Zagreus, they summarize the conversation they had in the glade not long ago and the conclusions they reached then. The new found comfort in the room cuts away at the bitter undertone of their memories.</p>
<p>“I see...” Achilles hums thoughtfully. “If I may add a thought...” Zagreus nods. “I think there is an important difference between stagnation and rest. I think it’s very reasonable to struggle with the idea of stagnation, particularly because it carries with it the idea of not having any goal or even <em> giving up </em> on a goal. </p>
<p>“I think it’s important to remember that <em> rest </em> doesn’t demand that of you. I would even argue that getting rest is something that furthers your goals instead of abandoning them. Taking care of yourself like that is another way to continue whatever pursuits concern you... And I don’t mean to imply that you haven’t realized any of this but just that it bears repeating, especially after everything you’ve gone through.” Patroclus issues a sound of agreement.</p>
<p>“No, you’re right,” Zagreus says readily. “It’s something I’ve always... understood as a concept, I suppose, but I always forgot it or ignored it or didn’t want to pay it any heed. I can't deny that it’s good to hear it said outright; I need to pay it more mind.</p>
<p>“I’ve been thinking about everything else too, I promise I haven’t been neglecting it,” Zagreus directs at Patroclus. “I <em> have </em> come up with a plan,” he states. “I... haven’t figured out exactly how I’m going to make it work, but I have a plan.”</p>
<p>“You don’t seem particularly confident about this plan,” Patroclus observes lightly.</p>
<p>Zagreus grimaces. “I <em> do </em> think it’s a good plan, I think it’s the right step forward, it’s just the logistics that are... rather daunting.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure we’ll figure out something,” Patroclus replies with a shrug. “Best to just come out with it, I think.”</p>
<p>“It’s true...” He rearranges himself on the bed, holding his back a little straighter. “I plan to petition my father to let me travel through the Underworld unchallenged as long as I’m not trying to reach the surface.”</p>
<p>Patroclus straightens, then leans in intently, intrigued by the idea. Achilles tilts his head and eyes the prince keenly.</p>
<p>Zagreus sighs. “I’ve been thinking about my visits to your glade and I think so much of what makes it hard to stay is that I know I have to keep going eventually. The door locks behind me and continuing to the next chamber of Elysium is the only way to physically get somewhere else. I have to commit to trying to escape- unless I decide to let myself be killed afterwards to go back to the house, which I’m convinced would be an even worse habit to develop.”</p>
<p>“Please do not do that,” Achilles implores at the same time Patroclus grimaces and rumbles a sound of agreement.</p>
<p>“Yeah, exactly. But it’s hard to stay when I know that I’ll inevitably have to jump right back into my escape attempt. I don’t have another choice. It puts me on edge to have that hovering over my head and I almost never manage to shove it out of my mind.” He fidgets with fingers idly as if the thought alone makes him restless.</p>
<p>“Your time in my chamber is bookended by violence,” Patroclus surmises.</p>
<p>“That’s an elegant way of putting it,” Zagreus concedes sadly.</p>
<p>“I think if I could visit Elysium without having to worry about reaching the surface, I would feel so much more comfortable there. And the more I thought about it, the more I think having permission to travel the Underworld would make me feel more comfortable in the house too. Right now, like it’s always been, the house is the only place I’m allowed to <em> exist. </em> Even now that it’s my <em> official job </em> to go out there and try to escape, virtually every soul between here and the surface is willing to kill me to send me back here.</p>
<p>“Traveling through Elysium and everywhere else has become so important to me, but I still don’t even have the right to be there. I’m restricted to the confines of the house... and I think I resent it for that. The ceilings are high and the halls are wide, but a couple rooms and hallways aren’t enough space to <em> live, </em> no matter how big they are.”</p>
<p>Zagreus blinks a few times, sighs, then finishes, “So that’s- that’s my plan.”</p>
<p>Achilles rubs his leg relaxingly. “I think that’s a good plan.”</p>
<p>“I agree,” Patroclus declares. “I understand better now what keeps you racing forward, even when you don’t entirely want to. I think changing the circumstances that bring us together could help a great deal.”</p>
<p>“I’m just worried about actually convincing Father to let me do this,” Zagreus sighs gustily. “I’m afraid we’re not very good at coming to agreements. I worry that the fact of me asking for permission at all will ensure that he never gives it to me.”</p>
<p>“Is he really <em> that </em> vindictive?” Patroclus asks.</p>
<p>“All that and more,” Zagreus sighs tiredly. Pat makes a quiet noise of disgust.</p>
<p>"Well, I have some experience dealing with the way your father makes deals,” Achilles comments. “I could help you make your request in a more official capacity that he might be less likely to dismiss out of hand.”</p>
<p>“And I can help mitigate some of the terrible advice Achilles is about to give you,” Patroclus cuts in.</p>
<p>“Pat-”</p>
<p>“What, are you going to act like you’re some dependable source on how to deal with authority? That’d be rich!” Achilles huffs and crosses his arms.</p>
<p>Zagreus laughs breezily and whatever coils of tension replaced Patroclus's muscles after death as the sinews that hold him together unravel a little. “Well, I’ll take any advice I can get.”</p>
<p>“Get comfortable then.” And before Zagreus can move to do anything of the sort, Patroclus snatches him around the waist and hauls him backwards to toss him in the center of the bed as Zagreus snorts with laughter.</p>
<p>Just as he intends to arrange himself languidly beside him, a pair of hands grip his calves and yank them out from where they fold beneath him, leaving him sprawled on his front with a muffled grunt. He sees Achilles’ wicked smirk through the dark tangle of his hair when he looks up at him from the corner of his eye.</p>
<p>Achilles laughs vibrantly when, together, Zagreus and Patroclus each seize one of his forearms and grapple him into the far spot on the bed. There they lay together for a time, talking, laughing, kissing, and basking in the warmth of a realm with no sun.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>When Achilles first noticed the wall scroll, he idly said "I'm not really someone worth admiring" and doomed himself from the get go. Zag would have taken it down if he'd just asked. Now it's a never ending cycle of Achilles hiding it in increasingly absurd places and Zagreus dismantling everything until he finds it and puts it back up. Don't worry. It's enrichment for them.</p>
<p>Edit: please enjoy <a href="https://twitter.com/hurricanes_art/status/1378138166364897282?s=20">this dumb meme</a> I drew for this chapter.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. I'll Take What I Can Get</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Only the surface sees the sunlight, but oh, oh, what could be brighter than this?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The paving stones of the first chamber of Tartarus crack under his feet when he drops from the window, just as they always do.</p><p>Except, nothing is just as it always is because no boon or hammer responds to his arrival to kick start his escape attempt. He passes by brimstones quietly and uneventfully, not a single laser aimed in his direction. The door forward has no marker and doesn’t seal shut after he passes through. All the Infernal Arms hover in their places in the courtyard, leaving him unarmed, save for a battered bronze shield he swiped from the armory.</p><p>Zagreus meanders through the chambers of Tartarus, scanning everything with wide eyes as if he hasn’t seen it all a hundred times before. In a way, he hasn’t. The wretches and louts do labor, punishment for whatever crimes they committed in life. Zagreus wonders distractedly if they’re the ones who have to repair the damage he does during his escapes. Many that notice him fix him with harsh glares as he passes by, though he can’t bring himself to care.</p><p>Zagreus figures it’s more than fair, actually.</p><p>He stumbles across a remaining marker that directs him to one of Charon’s shops and, after a brief deliberation, he goes through.</p><p>The ferryman gives a rasp of greeting and Zagreus waves vigorously in reply. “Hey mate! Afraid I don’t have any coin to spend at your shop today- or tonight, I haven’t been collecting any this time around.” Even if he did, he figures he wouldn’t need any of the items Charon offers anyway. This feels so weird.</p><p>Charon doesn’t seem to mind this lapse in customer loyalty. Perhaps he’s bled him dry enough times to allow a free pass.</p><p>“Perhaps I could give you a bit more company than usual though?” Zagreus offers brightly, noting a tempting spot for the rod of fishing within the idly reaching arms of the River Styx.</p><p>“Hheeoooooooh,” Charon intones, which Zagreus elects to interpret as agreement and drops himself cross legged by the waters and takes out the fishing pole.</p><p>“If I’m quick on the draw, I might catch a Scyllascion. Do you know if they’re really related to Scylla? Achilles mentions in his codex that they look like her, but of course, I can’t confirm or deny. It sounds like she’s quite a brutal monster, but I don’t think the fish look that monstrous, do they? I wonder if the mortals on the surface are all scared out of their wits when they see what everything looks like down here. Do you think they’d be frightened by me? I- ah!”</p><p>Zagreus yanks up on the line the moment the bobber dips under. Thrashing in rage, a Scyllascion indeed comes arcing through the air. A bit of one sided conversation can’t distract him from his fishing anymore now that Patroclus has repeatedly tested his focus with quite a bit more.</p><p>He holds the flapping fish up next to his face by the line and beams at Charon. “What do you think, any monstrous Underworld resemblance?”</p><p>“Khhraaaaaaaahhhh...”</p><p>“My sentiments exactly, mate.”</p><p>Zagreus stows away the Scyllascion to trade to the Head Chef later and thanks the ferryman for the help he gave Patroclus before heading off.</p><p>After about as many chambers as he would pass through to get past Tartarus in a usual attempt, Zagreus finds Tisiphone leveling her whip at a group of wretched witches that turn where they float in the air to examine him. Their scrutiny is nothing compared to the unblinking stare Tisiphone pins him with, though the Fury doesn’t move to turn her whip on him.</p><p>“Murrdererrrrr...” she drags out in a hesitant tone.</p><p>“Zagreus,” Zagreus corrects.</p><p>“Murderrr...zerr?” Tisiphone amends.</p><p>“We’ll get there, we’ll get there!” he encourages as he bounds past. “Good luck with continuing to dole out eternal damnation, or what have you!” She cocks her head at him and watches acutely until the door he leaves through hides her from view. Sure enough, it’s the transition room between the levels of the Underworld, although the cabinet of his keepsakes is already locked and the Pool of Purging doesn’t respond to his approach.</p><p>Onwards and upwards, then.</p><p>Asphodel is stifling as always, and Zagreus can’t help but wonder for the nth time if the shades here feel uncomfortable in the heat, despite Eurydice’s repeated assertions that the dead don’t feel such inconveniences.</p><p>Zagreus doesn’t come across her chamber on his initial pass through the flooded field of souls and it occurs to him that, since the little rafts don’t abandon him on each set of islands like they usually do, he could backtrack until he finds her. In the end, though, he decides that he should embrace the fact that he can venture out and explore the Underworld unhindered whenever he pleases now, and there’s no reason to track down everyone on this first excursion.</p><p>He does intend to eventually beg some cooking lessons from her, though. Her pom porridge would make an amazing addition to the menu in the lounge. Persephone would love it.</p><p>Zagreus does, however, stop at the well familiar island of the resident bone hydra. The central head rises from the flames of the Phlegethon and releases its customary hiss, but seems deeply confused over what it should do next. It weaves threateningly through the air, twitching as if considering advancing on the prince’s exposed flanks, but launches no attacks.</p><p>“Lernie!” Zagreus exclaims, spreading his hands wide. “My dear, skeletal friend, I’m beyond pleased that I don’t have to fight my way through you this time. I hope there’s no hard feelings about all those other times. Shall we call it even?”</p><p>Lernie’s head stills slowly, focused very sharply on Zagreus. He chuckles awkwardly despite himself. “Look, I figured that trying to kill me all the time probably gets rather boring and I <em> know </em> that it hasn’t fostered a wonderful relationship between us, so I thought you might enjoy something more fun.”</p><p>It makes a single, short, hard exhale, not quite a hiss, and a bit more welcoming. Maybe.</p><p>Very carefully, keeping his movements as nonthreatening as possible, Zagreus pulls the bronze shield from his back. It’s a simple disk of scratched up metal, a little smaller than Aegis. Lernie twitches when he pulls it free but Zagreus makes a soothing sound and it doesn’t attack.</p><p>“Like it?” Zagreus holds the shield out with one hand. Lernie’s head drifts lower and tilts to one side to examine it closer. “I hoped you would. Less threatening than old Aegis, huh?” He starts to swing the shield from side to side slowly and the hydra’s eyes track it intensely, though if it’s out of interest or perceived aggression, Zagreus can’t say.</p><p>“You think you want it? Hmm? You want it?” Zagreus pulls back the shield then freezes. Waits. Waits.</p><p>With a hard “Uhn!” he hurls the shield spinning through the air beyond the island. Lernie whirls around to watch but makes absolutely no move to go after the disk and they both stare at it as it lands in the lava with a spray a ways away.</p><p>“Ahhhh...” Zagreus declares as it sinks below the surface, replaced by the pop of a single, molten bubble. “Well. Cerberus is no good at fetch either, at least, no good at fetching anything other than errant souls. I guess you’re quite similar in that regard, with how you always try to send me b-!”</p><p>Zagreus’s skeleton nearly leaps out of his flesh, which would have left him matching Lernie quite well, when a second head bursts from the lava without preamble, shield clamped between its formidable teeth. He’s glad no one else heard the very undignified noise that erupted from him. The newly arrived head unclenches its jaw, then refixes its hold on the shield with an echoing clang.</p><p><em> “Lernie- </em> blood and darkness! Ohha ha<em>ha! </em> Wow, I guess you can fetch with whatever head is most convenient, huh! <em> Gods.” </em> Ignoring his jackhammer pulse, Zagreus steps up to the second head, closing the distance he inadvertently made when he launched himself backwards.</p><p>“If... you give it back, I’ll throw it for you again.”</p><p>Lernie stares at him without moving.</p><p>Zagreus reaches an arm up towards the shield and the head lurches back. He leans in further and it shifts to the side. He follows the movement and it sways back.</p><p>When Zagreus pulls back, however, it uses a flick of its tongue to launch it at him rather hard and he makes a grunt of effort when he catches it in front of his chest. He can’t say for sure if Lernie was returning the shield or attempting to injure him with it.</p><p>Zagreus decides to believe the former.</p><p>The metal is still blazing hot, but Zagreus throws it over the opposite side of the island before his skin can blister. The advantages of being fire resistant (even if he’s not quite fireproof). He’s better prepared this time when a third head rises with its trophy between its jaws.</p><p>He throws the shield a handful more times, picking a new direction for each throw, trying to see how many heads he can get to participate. He only manages to lure in one more, but it’s an interesting sight to see when the second head slides back under the magma to go after the shield.</p><p>If he could see where the heads connect to a body, if indeed they do, Zagreus would try labeling them like he does with Cerberus, but he knows he’ll never keep them straight as is.</p><p>He decides he should probably keep moving when Lernie spits back the shield so hard that he can no longer ignore the impression that it was trying to punch it through his torso.</p><p>“I suppose I shouldn’t overstay my welcome, then,” he says while kicking the shield over to the last raft. “You know, I had fun, we should do this again some time, Lernie.” The hydra hisses, but lets Zagreus take the final raft out of Asphodel unmaimed, so he counts that as a success.</p><p>Zagreus scrambles into the next room and dumps the bright hot bronze into the pool of the fountain which releases an effusive burst of steam. He waits a minute before pulling it out and examining the new damage. The bronze has a dozen or so severe dents from the clench of Lernie’s fangs and Zargreus notices a couple places where they fully broke through the metal. The magma did not do the finish any favors.</p><p>He wonders how many fetch lessons the thing will survive before he has to go find a new one.</p><p>He takes a deep breath before dashing into the entrance of Elysium.</p><p>For the first time, Zagreus actually sees the shades of warriors sparring with each other like he’s always heard they do. They compete in pairs and in some larger groups and Zagreus stares with wide eyes as some of the bouts are won and lost. Some shades sit aside for the moment, tending to their weapons or sharing muted conversations. A few of them glare venomously at him and one even throws a rude gesture his way, but it does nothing to lessen the beaming smile on his face.</p><p>The Fates might be sending a nice favor his way, because Zagreus doesn’t have to go far at all before the marker of Patroclus’s chamber turns up in his path.</p><p>The distant voices of Patroclus and Achilles greet him, sending his heart soaring and his pulse pounding. His lovers’ conversation cuts off as he bounds over the bridge to meet them. They greet him with wide smiles of their own and “Lad” overlaps with “Stranger”.</p><p>Patroclus pulls him into a kiss the moment he’s in range which smothers the giddy hum that escapes him. He greets him thusly for several long moments before releasing him as Achilles gripes, “You were closer, this is hardly fair.”</p><p>“Should have been quicker then,” Patroclus retorts and wipes over his satisfied smirk with his thumb. Achilles closes in on Zagreus and kisses him himself, thoroughly, ardently, and at length as Zagreus melts into it until Pat snaps, “This is the opposite of quick, you know.”</p><p>They separate and Zagreus manages to say breathlessly, “You know I’ll be around long enough for as many kisses as you both could want this time, right?”</p><p>“Oh?” Patroclus looks him up and down. “I think you <em> severely </em> underestimate how many kisses I might want from you. But perhaps you’ll be around long enough to satisfy me for a little while.”</p><p>Zagreus laughs, loud and unabashed, too fond and flushed with love to care about his exhilaration.</p><p>Intending to get more comfortable, Zagreus pulls off the shield to throw it aside only for Achilles to grasp his wrist and pull it forward to inspect it, eyes gleaming with concern. “This thing looks like it’s been through hell. Your father said you could travel the Underworld unchallenged. Were you attacked anyway?”</p><p>“Oh no, no! I brought it for Asphodel. I want to teach Lernie how to play fetch.”</p><p>“You mean the skeletal remains of the Lernaean Hydra?” Patroclus demands incredulously.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“...Did it work?”</p><p>“Well, I’m not sure if Lernie saw it with the same congeniality I did, but they <em> did </em> get the shield and bring it back a few times, so I’m taking that as a victory.”</p><p>Zagreus tosses the shield into the grass where Achilles nudges it over with his foot, looking over the puncture holes. “The hydra did quite a number on it. I’d forgotten how big it is since the last time you call on our aid to face it. I’m impressed you can defeat it so consistently, especially with how often you switch between your weapons.”</p><p>“Oh, Lernie isn’t so tough once you figure out how to deal with all their heads at once. And I just have to use a little different strategy whenever I use a different weapon.”</p><p>“I would think that the most effective strategy would be to <em> not use </em> a pair of oversized, claw tipped gloves to fight a hydra in the first place, though you seemed to have managed well enough,” Patroclus quips breezily. He steps back to his spear and pulls it free of the dirt, bringing it around to tap the flat of the blade against Zagreus’s shoulder. “Give me a weapon with reach any day.”</p><p>“Don’t bad mouth Malphon! Just because you wouldn’t use a certain weapon, doesn’t mean it’s not an effective one.”</p><p>Patroclus’s brows raise, clearly unconvinced. “I might say that, just because you can make a weapon work for you, doesn’t mean it’s a good one,” he counters, very possibly for the sole purpose of being difficult. Zagreus narrows his eyes at him.</p><p>“I’m not so sure of that,” Achilles chimes in lightly. “The twin fists caused no small amount of carnage long before they came to Zagreus. I have a great deal of respect for any weapon that was used to fight the Titans.”</p><p>“Exactly!” Zagreus exclaims, waving an arm in Achilles direction. “Malphon might not have great range, but it lets me attack quickly, land a lot of blows at once, and never have to worry about being disarmed or getting my weapon tangled up. There are plenty of advantages to using it-”</p><p>“Stylish,” Patroclus asserts.</p><p>“Styl-” Laughter swallows the word and Zagreus doubles over as Achilles says, “Really? Malphon? I can concede that it has its advantages as a weapon, but I hardly think it’s the most attractive of the lot.”</p><p>“It’s the only concession I’ll give it,” Patroclus says firmly.</p><p>Zagreus smothers his impromptu laughing fit as Achilles gives Patroclus a dubious look. “You know, I’ll take what I can get.” Zagreus says, half giggling. He catches Achilles rolling his eyes slightly. Well, what do <em> you </em> think is the best looking of all the weapons I have, oh <em>wise</em> and <em>experienced</em> hero?”</p><p>The line of Achilles’ mouth thins and he shifts his weight to his opposite leg. “Mm. Well. At the risk of sounding vain-” Zagreus and Patroclus exchange a glance as Achilles deliberately avoids eye contact- “I do think Varatha is the prettiest of them.”</p><p>“The <em> risk </em> of sounding vain, he says, pfft,” Patroclus drags out, shaking his head in exasperation.</p><p>“You should not be allowed to judge which Infernal Arm is the best, considering that you wielded one for most your life!”</p><p>“This is unjust,” Achilles asserts. “That just means I actually have some experience with them. Pat hasn’t used any of them, yet he’s allowed to judge?”</p><p>Patroclus nods sagely. “Unbiased ignorance.”</p><p>“Hmph.”</p><p>“There’s something brash and overconfident about wielding a weapon like that that looks compelling, I feel. Like I said, it’s stylish.”</p><p>“See, Pat’s with me!”</p><p>“Oh, no. It’s a fun look, but Achilles is right, a spear is certainly more attractive.” Zagreus drags in a betrayed, offended gasp.</p><p>Patroclus grins and comes in to kiss him, but Zagreus leans backwards stubbornly, letting himself topple over onto his back and sprawl dramatically on the ground. “‘Unbiased’ like hell.”</p><p>Achilles laughs high and bright. “Seems you’ve been out voted, lad.”</p><p>“You only prefer the spear so much because that’s what you’re best at!” Zagreus accuses, shoving himself up on his elbows.</p><p>“Well, I can’t quite argue that,” Achilles says with an indifferent shrug. “It’s what I was good for. I’m afraid I was only the best in battle, and I can’t count how many men deserved m-”</p><p>Patroclus makes a sudden jolt of movement as if he’s about to charge at Achilles which instantaneously has Achilles recoiling, jaw snapping shut through his words as he finches into a defensive stance.</p><p>Zagreus lets out an abrupt bark of laughter at the display, after which the pair stare at each other in silence, perfectly still for several long, drawn out moments.</p><p>Patroclus slowly starts to relax then, adopting an air of aloof elegance as he turns to the side, though he blatantly keeps Achilles in his peripherals as if he expects some offense. Achilles’ expression pinches into one of prim indignation and he crosses his arms over his chest as he exaggeratedly straightens his back.</p><p>“Well anyway,” Zagreus diverts, overflowing with fondness, “I’m positive I look incredibly attractive with every weapon I use.”</p><p>Achilles crosses to his side opposite Patroclus with one last glance at him that he likely means to look incensed, but is belied by affection he can’t disguise, before settling himself next to Zagreus. Tucking a piece of hair behind his ear, he plants a kiss on his cheek. “Do you actually like the look of Malphon best?” he asks him mildly.</p><p>“Hm, I don’t know,” he confesses easily, leaning into Achilles’ little touches, “I’d have to think about it more. Maybe Aegis?”</p><p>“No, no,” Patroclus says immediately. He claims a seat at Zagreus’s other side and sets a bold hand on his bare pectoral, the tip of his little finger slipping past the edge of his chiton. “Covers up too much,” he states with a sharp smirk.</p><p>Zagreus arches his brow. “Are we talking about the weapons or the wielder?”</p><p>Patroclus blinks slowly and hums noncommittally with a tone of feigned innocence. “You brought it up first.”</p><p>Achilles eyes them with heat and humor. “I think we might find that we can all agree on the merits of that.”</p><p>Lounging together in this tucked away corner of eternal paradise, their wandering hands, murmured sounds, lazy kisses, and tangled caresses prove exactly that.</p><p>The sweet smell of Elysian grass and the tranquil presence of the ones he loves seeps into Zagreus and weighs down his limbs, heavy on his eyelashes. And the instinct to stay lax and not pull himself up is, for once, more tempting than unnerving.</p><p>Not long after the drowsy atmosphere asserts itself does Achilles start to stir, struggling out of its pull with a little grimace. Zagreus utters a noise of discontent as Achilles reluctantly sits upright at his side, a little part of him fearing that something has gone amiss, but it’s soothed when Patroclus maintains his gentle smile as he hums low.</p><p>“Do your duties at the house need to steal you away from us, my love?” Ah, that had slipped his mind entirely, drowned out by the beating of his heart.</p><p>“Yes,” Achilles sighs deeply, rolling his head to one shoulder then the other. “I’ve never wanted to skip a shift more, but...”</p><p>“Best not play hooky to escape the Lord of the Dead, I think,” Patroclus chuckles. “I don’t imagine you’ll miss much, because I think I hear a nap calling our names.”</p><p>Achilles pouts, although Zagreus suspects he would deny doing any such thing. “You say that as if a nap sounds anything short of lovely.” He groans softly when Pat reaches over Zagreus’s side to prod him in the leg. “I know, I know.”</p><p>“Sorry, Achilles,” Zagreus says even as he grins sleepily, “Father’s nothing if not a hard ass. I’ll owe you a nap later. Yours to claim when you want it.”</p><p>“I shall hold you to that.” Achilles kisses him then, relaxed and comfortable and Zagreus hopes his dreams feel anywhere near as nice as this. Patroclus lifts himself slightly as Achilles pulls back to meet him for his own kiss, so familiar and loving and so beautiful a sight Zagreus wonders if he might dream of that as well.</p><p>Achilles stands then despite his obvious reluctance and stretches with an artful arch of his back. “Well, I suppose I’ll be back when my shift is over,” he says as a statement and not an expectation. Zagreus nods equanimously, at least, as well as he can while lying down. Achilles pouts at the sight of them one more time before he looks away and disappears in a shaft of pale light that pierces the still air of Elysium.</p><p>The reminder of the house and its goings on rattles distractingly at the back of his mind until Patroclus rearranges himself to set his head on his shoulder and, well, it’d be rude to get up now, anyway.</p><p>“Well, I guess we’d best honor our word and get a bit of sleep.”</p><p>“Oh, you’d better,” Patroclus mumbles, “or you’ll be finding yourself indebted to me too.” Zagreus laughs airily and lets his eyes drift shut. In due time, Zagreus does indeed keep his word.</p><p>“...been asleep the whole time?” Zagreus hears when next he wakes.</p><p>There’s a quiet hum he recognizes as Pat and he notices fingers curling subtly through his hair beyond his temple. “I’m glad for it,” Achilles murmurs.</p><p>“Is your shift over?” Zagreus rasps as he opens his eyes blearily in time to see Achilles sit beside the pair of them.</p><p>"Well, good morning, pretty bird," Patroclus purrs from his place behind his back.</p><p>"-Or night," Achilles corrects as Zagreus echoes, "Bird?"</p><p>Patroclus glares at Achilles. <em> "I have decided," </em> he declares dramatically, "that I am sick of all this day or night or morning or evening business. It's impossible to tell time down here, so I've decided that whatever time it feels like is whatever time it is. We just woke up, and so it's morning."</p><p>"Hmm, a clever idea, but I imagine that it's actually 7:48," Achilles returns.</p><p>"Then it's 7:48 in the <em>morning,"</em> Patroclus bites out slowly in response to Achilles' smirk.</p><p>It only grows wider. "Well if that's the case, I really do need to join you and get some sleep. I've been up all night." Patroclus scoffs as Achilles lays fully on his side, shuffling down to nuzzle into the base of Zagreus's chest, the wild sprawl of his curls that hides his face ticklish against Zagreus's skin. The trusting gesture warms him from head to toe and he's tempted to sooth his fingers through his locks, but at the moment-</p><p>"What's a bird?"</p><p>The question seems to catch Patroclus off guard before he composes himself. He almost looks flustered. Achilles breathes a laugh.</p><p>"A kind of animal on the surface. They remind me of you."</p><p>That piques Zagreus's interest. "What do they look like?" He inquires eagerly.</p><p>Patroclus scratches through his beard thoughtfully. "Birds have more or less round bodies and heads. They stand on two thin, short legs, but they also have a pair of wings and a long, feathered tail. Ah, they have feathers all over, that is."</p><p>Zagreus furrows his brow, struggling to visualize it. "Feathers like feather quills?"</p><p>"Umhmm," Achilles confirms lazily.</p><p>"You said they have wings. Do they fly? Like bats?"</p><p>Patroclus wrinkles his nose. "Well, not exactly like bats, but yes, they do fly. Birds live all over, you would see them in the sky all the time."</p><p>Zagreus refocuses on Patroclus with a grin, abandoning his attempt to imagine such a creature for the moment. "They sound nice, though I can't say I understand the resemblance."</p><p>"I meant more in personality than appearance." Zagreus tilts his head curiously and gets a sigh in return. "Birds are cheerful and energetic and always on the move. They're lively and talkative and charming."</p><p>"Ha, the real similarity is how fond Pat is of you and them," Achilles declares, muffled from his place pressed up against Zagreus.</p><p>Patroclus huffs and retorts defensively, "They're endearing little creatures and I always enjoyed them." Bright heat suffuses his cheeks as he realizes that Patroclus doesn't feel the need to defend his fondness for <em> Zagreus, </em> as if that could never be questioned in the first place.</p><p>"I think <em> our </em> little creature is far more endearing."</p><p>And apparently Achilles agrees.</p><p>Patroclus leans over to press his lips to Achilles’ temple which earns him a pleased noise and Zagreus hopes he can’t hear the hammering of his heart as he does.</p><p>“I- well, I’ll have to look for one the next time I get to the surface to see what all the fuss is about.” Zagreus tries to ignore how flustered they have him, but it’s harder when his voice isn’t quite as even as he’d like.</p><p>“I hope I haven’t talked them up too much. Certainly, they can’t eclipse you.”</p><p><em> And they can’t eclipse you, </em> Zagreus’s mind echoes in prompt reply. And perhaps he hasn’t even seen a bird yet, but he knows it to be true. Zagreus had <em> starved </em> for the surface not so long ago. It set fangs in his heart when he was torn away from that world he craved. He didn’t think then, that he might ever find such peace in the world he fought ferociously to leave, enough to feel certain that nothing the surface can offer can stand above what he has here.</p><p>The things that have changed have shed new light on all the things that have remained the same and at last, Zagreus feels content in the spot he’s found intertwined with his lovers. Birds sing their cheerful songs in the sun of the surface even as Zagreus’s heart sings its bliss in the hollow of the Underworld.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Achilles: *starts to be self deprecating out of habit*<br/>Patroclus: *triggers his fight or flight response*</p><p>IT'S DONE AT LAST!!! I started this fic a little over 2 months ago, wow. I did't have a super solid plan when I started writing and I never thought it would turn out this long! Believe it or not, I had the idea of Zag getting the right to travel the Underworld unhindered in the early stages, but I was fully convinced I wouldn't write any of it out and I would just mention it in the end note. Then I pinned down the character arcs half way through and I realized it was absolutely vital and I was gonna need 6th chapter lol</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! You can find me on Twitter if you want <a href="https://twitter.com/hurricanes_art">@hurricanes_art!</a> I post my art there too</p>
<p>Comments are always deeply appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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